Trouble dealing with wife's sexual past and lies about being a virgin
Because of my spritual beliefs and personal values, I chose to remain a virgin until my wedding night. Because I wanted to marry someone who shared my deep belief that sex was a beautiful gift from God to be used only within marriage.i know we human we made mistake in life. we talk to each other before our marriage about our past.i told her about all my life.she told me about her past, she said she never had sexual relationship with anybody. i ask her if she had please let me know, i want our relationship on honesty....she said she has closed friend but never had sex with anybody.she is virgin.
At the age of 22, she was 18 we got married. Knowing that she and I had "saved each other" for marriage was a very special feeling for me.we know each other password for fb and emails.
8 years later, my wife got a message out of the blue from a former boyfriend that she had dated for 3 years. She hadn't heard from him in several years. She message him for nearly everyday.one day some reason she ask me to print her email.i sign in and check her old mail. i saw a message from familiar name which was her old best friend. i read his message which look like more than just a best friend. he wrote her , he want to talk to her she wrote than why didn't her contact her.than i saw one message from her other friend who is talking about some other guy...im little upset but i said they are her old friend that is why they are writing like this to each other. i never talk to her about her emails but i start checking her email daily bases.she exchange each other cell no.one i can take it i talk to her. she start flipping out, than i ask her about other guy. she told me same story again.(the 1st guy she know him when she was 14 and other-one one year before we get marry. i forget about everything, everything is going well, one day i feel something is wrong, its just a feeling..i login her account i saw a guy who had crush on her in hight school writing her about her past,about her past sexual relationships with the 1st guy and than about 2nd guy who she moved for three month. i message this guy told him stop blaming and talk stupid **** about her...he stop couple of week than again he start writing how nuch he love her etc.she wrote her u know know anything they are just friend..one day she wrote a common friend and the 1st boyfriend about this guy who is harassing her.she told them this guy know about me everything.all this mess i understand she has two boyfriend before we get married 1st one for three years(who she lose her virginity) and the 2nd one for one year..i can't take it anymore i confront her. 1st she refuse they are not her boyfriend than she agree than she said she never have sexual relationship with them.i told her please tell me truth i just want our marriage should be based on truth and honesty...i know she has sexual relationship with these guys and may be with some other guys too..i don't want to break our marriage but her lie bother me every day. im ready to accept anything she did in her past..i just want she tell me truth..if she sleep with these guys i don't care , that happen before we get marry....its hurt when you hear truth from someone else. she still pretend with me she was virgin when she get marry and im the only man who she slept.
My problem is this: I love my wife more than anything in the world, but dealing with her deception, along with the haunting images in my mind of her having intercourse with those men, is very difficult for me. I try to be a loving and forgiving husband, but I find myself feeling negatively towards her. but i never share my feeling about her. i try my best to treat her right, give her what she want,i love her, show my love everyday. i never let her feel i know everything and you are lying to always when she tell me how much she love me and im the only man who she had and have sex..i feel hurt....i cant get rid of these feeling...i tell her so many time please tell me everything about ur past which i don't know....she has same answer like always
.i want she confess than i try to fight and get over on these feeling...i can take truth over lie.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? Is it common for a woman to lie about being a virgin? Any suggestions as to how I can learn to better deal with my feelings about her?i need help please..