Wife's BF is another man, how to deal?
I am in my 30's, I have been with my wife since high school, married now with kids.
So yes, my wife's best friend is another man that she works with, and has been for more than a few years now. The other man is married himself and has kids. They're becoming best friends isn't a huge surprise to me, as she has been pretty open about their relationship. Her co-worker BF also hangs out with us quite a bit, mostly because we don't have any other "couple" friends that also have kids. On occasion, I have hung out with him away from my wife - partially because she urges me to, and partially because, well, he's actually a pretty good guy that I get along with and fits into our group of friends.
My relationship with my wife has always been great, we talk all the time, and our sex life is absolutely fantastic.
So why all the fuss? Bottom line, I feel like in someways he is having an EA with my wife, though she may not interpret it as that.
Whenever we go out as a couple, his wife comments about how he never talks to her about stuff, but talks to my wife about everything (somehow this doesn't bother her?). And if you ever met his wife, she's not at all bi***y, quite the opposite, but...I'll refrain from any mean opinions, but she is totally different from us and I would never have paired them together. So in short, I get the feeling that he has this relationship with my wife as something that he doesn't get from his own.
He is also very flirty when he is drunk - now really, who isn't - but this means whenever we go out I am extremely protective, and this bugs my wife, who agrees with me that he likes my wife's attention, but doesn't think that he'll try to act on it other than being playful.
I guess there are just things that I have a hard time being comfortable with, but I feel like I can chalk those up to jealousy (occasional texting, lunch away from work). But every once in a while those little things stir up the feelings I typed above, and though she has said many times "Maybe I should stop being friends with him", I know she doesn't mean it, but that's because it would probably hurt her - she has tried to make other girlfriends at work, but they just aren't very friendly or as outgoing.
So since I feel like I have to just suck it up, how can I make this easier on myself and my wife?