General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
would you want to know the aspects of your wife that you wouldnt like? Like one night i got to ask the things i was afraid to hear from my girlfriend. I knew she didnt have good morals and the conversation confirmed it. I ended up leaving her a little bit later. So do you really want to know everything about your wife/girlfriend? or would you rather still be happy and try to make relationship work even tho she may not be as good of a fit as you thought. And im not talkin about xboyfriend stuff but like if she cheated before on other boyfriends, maybe drugs, morals... along those lines.
I think your goin another way then i wanted it to be answered. If it didnt affect you at all and it was before you, like if she had a lot of parterns, or one night stands or had an abortion, something morally that you would consider wrong would you want to know if they did it? Like i found out my ex didnt value sex at all, and i do, i do a lot. She started having sex at the age of 14 and she got caught having sex in public at the age of 14. Her mom had a lot of parterns, a LOT of partners and i dont want to date/marry a girl who thinks its okay to have a lot of partners, so i left her. I guess this is my question... Would you want to know something that would tear your relationship/marriage apart or make you second think who you are really with?
Why on earth wouldn't you want to know these things? This is a recipe for disaster. Do you really want to give your heart to someone who does not deserve your love and devotion? Put your head in the sand and ignore red flags? Have the mother of your children be a drug addict?
Marriage is the most important relationship that you will ever have. How could you not want to know what she is like? Believe me, finding out the hard way is foolish.
Why wouldnt i want to know this? Because i believe everybody, male and female, have done something that their partner wouldnt like.
The way i see it is if i didnt ask, i would still be happily in love with her, but now that i do know, i know she isnt the right person. but before i found out she was perfect. I just dont know if next relationship i should ask the things that im afraid she will admit has happend, or done.
I find it amusing how many women (well guys possibly too) say they want honesty, but yet they are holding onto a fantasy of perfection. Personally I accept everybody for who they are, not what they've done. Even the best people out there make mistakes, some would argue its mistakes that build character (but I don't completely buy into that definition), however if they can't admit their mistakes I will generally hold that against someone.
No im not sayin that makin mistakes is bad, or you dont learn from them. Im trying to get your opinion on my side. I asked something from my girlfriend that I THINK is morally wrong. And she continued to do it. It wasnt a mistake to her, it was her morals. This thread is just to see if others would want to know something they would consider morally wrong with their partner. Like i dont believe people should share their bodies as much as they do (just my opinion, i wished i had waited till marriage, and ive only done it with 1 other girl). So should i ask in the next relationship? Its a deal breaker if i know she has slept around, but i think i want to know but i did just leave a girl who i truly loved over this...
that was confusing^^^^^^^^^^^^
basically i think its wrong to have sex with multiple people... I left my girlfriend because i had asked her how many partners she has had. It was 6. To me, its wrong to share your body, its how i was raised and its morally wrong to do so. Should i ask in my next relationship if i know i might have to leave her? is it better not to know?
Come on, what are you going to wait until your married then all of the sudden you find out?
My point.....this is a deal breaker for you so please be up front with your next relationship.
You are looking for something that is special to you so please be up front. It will save you some heart ache later in the relationship. Plus with out asking then you will never know if you have that something special that you seek.
would you want to know the aspects of your wife that you wouldnt like? Like one night i got to ask the things i was afraid to hear from my girlfriend. I knew she didnt have good morals and the conversation confirmed it. I ended up leaving her a little bit later. So do you really want to know everything about your wife/girlfriend? or would you rather still be happy and try to make relationship work even tho she may not be as good of a fit as you thought. And im not talkin about xboyfriend stuff but like if she cheated before on other boyfriends, maybe drugs, morals... along those lines.
The solution is to get to know the person before you form an emotional bond. Meet their friends ask about their prior relationships and discuss values. These things should come as part of getting to know a person. You really did not know your gf if you did not find out her values. You formed an emotional attachment that was doomed because it was based on a myth of perfection. She was not perfect for you and before assigning perfection get to know the person and third your heart.
Be careful who you select. Why not pick a woman of similar religious value as you? You may find her at Sunday service or Boble study. Posted via Mobile Device
If it is important to you that your beloved not have had multiple sex partners before you, then say so early in the relationship. You should have this information. Pretending that you do not want to know is foolish, because this information will come out eventually and you will be angry with her. She cannot change her past, so seek out someone who is acceptable to you.
There is nothing wrong with this, but you should be up front about your wishes and not get involved with someone who does not meet your desires. This is an emotional need, and you should not apologize for it.
Come on, what are you going to wait until your married then all of the sudden you find out?
My point.....this is a deal breaker for you so please be up front with your next relationship.
You are looking for something that is special to you so please be up front. It will save you some heart ache later in the relationship. Plus with out asking then you will never know if you have that something special that you seek.
QFT. If it's a deal breaker for you, find out early, not late. It's unfair to wait till you're emotionally invested and then ask.
Personally, I figure the things that happened in the past are history. You van learn from that history, but you can't change it. And what's happened in the past is what's made that person who they are. So the most important question is, do you love the person your partner is NOW.
would you want to know the aspects of your wife that you wouldnt like? Like one night i got to ask the things i was afraid to hear from my girlfriend. I knew she didnt have good morals and the conversation confirmed it. I ended up leaving her a little bit later. So do you really want to know everything about your wife/girlfriend? or would you rather still be happy and try to make relationship work even tho she may not be as good of a fit as you thought. And im not talkin about xboyfriend stuff but like if she cheated before on other boyfriends, maybe drugs, morals... along those lines.
Id hope you would take the time to know your wife before marriage. Sure, she may keep things from you, but it is possible for someone to have a past and leave it there.
Know bad things about wife? 
