Originally Posted by MarriageInJeopardy View Post
It seems, at least to me, that perhaps the lack of REM sleep is causing my wife to go in and out of a depressive state. Some days, she's pleasant, other days, it's like a bat out of hell. More stressed she is, the less sleep she receives; thus starts a cycle. Like I said before, she had a week off, and all she did is mostly sleep. I would like her to go to a sleep doctor, but she refuses. That might be the thing that brings her back to normalcy.
get her to see a doc. the cyclic stuff will just keep wearing her out. likely they'll find little in the bloods, but they might be a chance to check for more serious issues like thyroid issues.
Also the _anxiety_ pattern that is developing is habitual, the sooner she gets help to break it the better.
Also making sure the basics are sorted goes a long way.
Proper diet, including some of the harder to get amino acids and vitamins. keep away from corn syrups, artifical sweetners, chocolates, and energy/pop drinks - they all drive the system into overdrive, and then collapse...then its an addiction cycle where the body needs it to get going again.
Often too, with depressed people, they need that adrenal panic mode to function at all. It will take a very helpful counseller (that doesn't "have big word answers for everything" to deal with it . eg she needs to address the cause of the worry, not just gets some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy stuff to fret over). Consider it to be like holding a hand grenade, the more you worry about letting go, and the need to let go; the more the panic and stress is going to stop you - but since you need the stress and panic to get over the falling asleep, you strap that bomb to your hand and go..until your stop..then repeat.
Exercise, low stress exercises, decluttered house, being able to not worry about family issues. But be warned...the stress is what makes some people function, and feel alive...otherwise they might feel threatened, or useless/pushed out, or even like Marge on the Simpsons episode when homer got the job with the Bond-Archvillian.
Also might want to consider career counselling. some managers (and their bosses) _like_ pushing their staff to breaking point and consider it a sign they are doing their job efficiently (get the most value for the company's money). It also so happens that often those bosses are the worst at providing remuneration or career mobility (an invested staff member, contributes self-worth to a project, also tends to one that won't leave, or doesn't even have time to look around).