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Im worried about how my GF feel about us

1K views 6 replies 7 participants last post by  VeryHurt 
#1 · (Edited)
Have been with my gf for more then a year. Things arent going too well for the last few weeks. I think honeymoon phase is over.
background: we are in our mid 20’s, are from Europe and do not live together. We live cca 10 miles apart.

Sorry for poor English...


She has a job and for couple of weeks every year she participate in humanitary actions in her little town as volunteer. They are gathering food for poor people. Everything is nice and I support her but the thing is that for the last month she doesn’t find time for me or relationship. This volunteer thing went too far. Even her mother is wondering if we split since she hasn’t seen me for a while and my gf said to her she is seeing me when I come to help her with her voluntary work.

I understand its important to her but its actually more important then me or relationship. Let me explain – for the last month she hasn’t come to my place not even ONCE, I invited her few times but I stopped since she always said she doenst have time. I also see her ONLY when I come to help her with her voluntary work. We hardly spend any time alone, and she doesn’t invite me to her place anymore. It went too far. We hear eachother everyday but see each other like 2 or 3 times a week (when I come to help).

Last time we argue about something and I told her it bothers me that she has no time. She said ‘you know im a volunteer’ I said yes, but you also have a boyfriend. I told her she hasn’t come to my place for a whole month (not even once and we live 15 min apart) and she replied ‘I don’t have time’. I said I cannot believe that she wasn’t able to find an hour or two in the whole month to come by and see me and she replied she did have time but she chose to spend it by herself because she was tired so she was at home doing some artwork or was having some drinks with her girl friends. I said looks like these are your priorities… she said ‘no’. I said what then? And after a few seconds she said ‘ YES PRIORITIES’.
I told her if I had something like that going on and acting/behaving the way she does that we would not even see eachother for a whole month. She replied ‘BIG DEAL, ITS LIKE ONE OF US WOULD GO WORKING ABROAD FOR A MONTH’ I mean really? We live freaking 10 miles apart!

I m concerned about her words and her involvement in relationship… and the way she acts. What do you think about it? Im I overthinking things?
 
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#3 ·
I think maybe you should try talk to her about whether she is happy in the relationship? If she thinks everything is going ok, maybe she just really is super busy and you should see if things get back on track when the volunteer work is over.

I'm not sure what advice I would give other than to just try to talk to her.
 
#4 ·
This post sounds very familiar......OP sometimes you have to admit things aren't working out. Her priority is expanding her life and you want to bottle her up in your little bubble, not a good combination. This sounds like one of those relationships that has run it's coarse and is just drying up, you can either officially end it or just let it go, I don't think she will argue with either approach.
 
#5 · (Edited)
Sorry, she's not that into you and/or found another guy while volunteering. Let her go.

Why didn't you go see her during that month? Why was it all on her? Were you testing her? Well, if so, she failed your test I guess.

You'll be ok, move on. She's not the one.
 
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