Husband has frustration and anger issues. Not sure what to do!
I have been married to my husband now for almost 8 years, and most of that has been wonderful. There are few things, however, that really bother me time and time again, and I'm not sure how to approach it anymore, because even after multiple discussions it still keeps happening.
1. The first thing is that my husband just gets so easily frustrated and always brings up the negative. Every little thing, like getting too many red lights, or waiting in line too long pisses him off. If one little thing doesn't go his way, he gets upset. He will act like the whole day is ruined, and nothing was worth while over the smallest little hiccups. I try to tell him about all the positives, but he seems to get frustrated that I am disagreeing with him.
2. Sometimes he lets his frustration and anger get the best of him, and can go into a rage. He has never come close to hurting me, or even touching me during this, but he will rip the clothes off his body. Throw something across a room. Put a hole in the wall. He has even ripped out the rack of a dishwasher and broken all our dishes. This absolutely infuriates me! Not only is he acting worse than a 2 year old, but he is destroying things that cost money to fix, usually for some stupid little reason like the computer keeps freezing up. If we get into an argument about it he will turn it into a whole thing of "our marriage is crap," he can't stand my family, he is leaving me, i'm being a *****, etc..etc. So, obviously me fighting back doesn't help. I have tried telling him to leave, that I don't want to see him until he cools down, which he has done once or twice, but usually still comes back trying to blame me somehow. I have tried to ignore what he is doing, and not respond, in which sometimes he'll just say stuff like "so, you're going to ignore me now! Fine, be mad!" I have left telling him I'm not going to put up with his actions, etc. Now, he has from time to time apologized immediately realizing what he has done, but even though I've asked him to try counseling, and he says he will, he never does, and the issues just continue on.
3. He is just very judgmental. Whenever we are out in public he is very quick to criticize the people around us, whether it is what they are wearing, their weight, or how they are acting. He can be critical of me as well, sometimes nitpicking on little things I do, or if I don't do something that needs to be done. I generally just ignore him when he gets this way, and don't give him a response.
Now, do know the outbursts are probably about once every few months, it's mostly all the negativity that is wearing me down.
The reason I am reaching out now is we have had a baby in the last year, and I do not want her to have this in her life. I have even threatened that if he doesn't get his act together I will take her out of the situation. Instead of things blowing over after a day or so, and life returning to normal for the most part I find myself thinking about it all the time, where I am almost resentful towards him on a regular basis. I'm not sure what the shift is, but I could sure use some advice. Thanks!