09-13-2011, 12:56 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
| | Re: Is a relationship possible without trust???
I'm gonna say I don't think a GOOD relationship is possible without trust. "Trust" covers a lot of things though...it's much deeper than just saying you want the other person to be honest with you and not lie. My wife had a PA and a few EA's several years ago. In addition to me needing to rebuild trust in her that she would no longer engage in those activities, I needed to rebuild the trust that she was committed to our relationship....had nothing to do with "honesty" per se. At the same time, what I didn't realize at the time was that she didn't trust me to be the man she fell in love with (as I was doing the seemingly usual "male emotional disconnest" thing) which was driving her away.
From all this we've agreed that to really have the loving relationship we want to have that we need to trust each other to just be here in the capacity we agreed to on our wedding day....to love each other with all our hearts and completely give ourselves to each other emotionally. We have to go forward trusting each other to do our best to love without holding back.
So to me "trust" is, as Brian said above, a "foundational principle"...a necessary building block, for a GOOD successful marriage. Yeah, you can be married without trust, but methinks it wouldn't be the satisfying relationship you'd have WITH trust.