Re: Do guys get over their first love?
He brought it up. A few months ago I asked him, who was his first true love and he told me I was and so then I asked how do you know? and he said, "I just do." Well last night we were both looking at facebook and came across a girls profile and he said, "her and joy were really good friends." and then I'm not sure exactly how it came about but it wasn't like he just popped up and said it but somehow in conversation he was like, "joy was probably the first girl i ever actually cared about, we dated my sophomore and junior year of high school, not steady but on and off". So that's when I said, "do you ever think about her?" and he said, "no". I said "oh okay", and he quickly changed the subject. Like I said earlier I tend to over think stuff but deep down I can't help but wonder if they still have feelings for each other. I know my husband loves me, there's no doubt about that so I may sound selfish when I say this but I want to know that I have his whole heart and that if he could be with anyone, regardless of how life turned out, it would be me, not because it's easy but because he chooses me over someone he cared/cares for. I know that sounds completely foolish because I understand the point that we've been together almost 4 years(longer than any of his other relationships) and that he married me. I just can't help but think sometimes if deep down his heart belongs to another woman. My reasoning for still questioning his love for me is because when we first started dating he was very self centered and never put our relationship first. After dating for a while I finally realized the problem was that he had walls built up around his heart and did NOT want me in. He even told me he once that he wouldn't give someone the power to hurt/destroy him. I figured he had been hurt before or something of that nature and had a hard time trusting women. This went on for a while, it was like every time we would begin getting closer in our relationship he would freeze and we'd take several steps backwards. I told myself I wouldn't give up on him because I love him and wanted to prove that I would never hurt him. It went on like that for a year and then after I graduated high school, due to my own family issues, he asked me to move in with him and his father(his parents are separated), I knew that by moving in, it would either break it or make it. Our relationship made a turn for the better. He has opened up A LOT since the time I moved in. I know that his walls are not completely down, and although I know he loves me, he still maintains that boundary between us because I can sense it. I'm positive that if I up and walked out of his life tomorrow, he might be upset but he would never show it. He would not ask me to come back or try to work out whatever caused me to leave. He would wish me the best and would simply go on with life. I know that I've gotten somewhat off the topic but basically I'm trying to say there's something going on as to why I don't feel like I'm THE love of his life whether it be his heart already belongs to someone or if that's just the type of man he is. Sometimes I just want to be like, "Look, tell me what it is that makes you this way." and then sometimes I feel like I'd rather not know because I'd honestly be devastated if he told me he loved another woman. All I want is free, no boundaries, care-free love from my husband and to feel like he needs me as much as I need him.