Me & my boyfriend/now husband waited till marraige for intercourse, of coarse I did these things because of religious beliefs mainly, and fear God would be displeased with me, with us. Plus my parents would have crucified me if I got pregnant.
At first it was near excrusiating to wait, BUT .... during that whole time we had VERY roaving hands -or we would have went stark raving mad - this kept us sane and able to hold on, and we did for years. I still felt guilty about that -because of what the Church teaches about "PURITY" constantly pounding that into our heads, but in my heart of hearts I somehow still felt "good" about what we was holding out for. Most of my friends didn't wait. It was a rare thing. But still, I was conflicted, it caused me alot of "sex is dirty" thoughts, that went right into my marraige, it was not something I could turn off --with a 'switch".
Just saying, it is a battlefeild when you are dating & have to abide by all of this, and if you are not on the same page with her (as clearly you are not), it will cause major problems, possibly a break up. I was lucky , My husband was OK with how we handled ourselves, he was not frustrated or upset or pushed for more, very respectful. I know how rare that is to find in a guy, so I KNEW he was a keeper.
I once read this story on a Christian sex forum, where this guy & girl met, had wonderful passionate Sex in College, shortly after they both found God and decided to go COLD TURKEY -- they waited another 2 yrs to marry, all sexual touching stopped (he didn't describe the struggle too much but I am sure it was severe at 1st)...
He was so happy, anticipating their Wedding - to finally be with her again in every physical way -to start where they left off ---only to find on their wedding night, she told him she didn't like sex and didn't care if she ever had it again. And here it was 6 months later...him coming to that forum desperate, a broken man, frustrated husband, lonely, rejected , not knowing what to do , where to turn -does he get a divorce, carry on --because his wife still had NO desire for him. It was dead. It was heart wrenching to read.
Not that THIS happens to the majority of those who wait, it DOESN'T, but the fact this can
happen at all --well, it just shouldn't be!! She totally REPRESSED her sex drive. Buried it! And he allowed her to do it -not being aware of the possible ramifications. All the answers he got was...Pray, seek God, she needs counseling. All I kept thinking was.... they should have kept touching each other at the very least- kept those orgasms coming - and still they could have acheived "the waiting " for intercourse, it might have not been the Most Purest thing to do, but that would have NEVER NEVER happened.
Me & mine still expressed our sexuality during dating, I wouldn't take that back for the world.
Just my 2 cents. You will resent... she will feel Guilty before her God -like He will not bless her future with you...
I can't say I blame her though in one respect - you saying this
I'm no where close to even think about marrying her (financially and emotionally) and even if i did it would seem like it was forced upon...
As a Christian, she at the very least needs to know you are committed to her- no matter what, no matter when - I would have never even considered going all the way if I felt a guy wouldn't drop the world for me -I needed that "assurance". That was very very very important to me. With her new beliefs, I am sure this is a very big deal to her now.
Does she know you feel this way?