My husband thinks I don't trust him. He doesn't want to talk to me.
Why does he think I don't trust him? Because I was listening at the door when he was on the phone. I get that. Why was I listening at the door? Because I always wanna know what he's talking about and hounding him with "Who was that???What were you talking about???" every time he gets off the phone seems like it would cause trouble. I don't do it a lot. Usually it IS when I'm having trust issues, but this time I was wanting to see if he was talking to his son's mother. (Backstory: he has a 1 yr old son with his ex, this happened while we were separated and SURE of divorce, but obviously we didn't get a divorce.) I wanted to see what they were talking about because they just recently, like this past weekend, started being civil with each other. Which I thought was great til I started thinking about it. I DO NOT think he would cheat with her, that's not the stuff I was listening for. I wanted to see if they were TOO friendly where he would actually call her a friend or call her to tell her something funny he heard or help her with her relationship problems or ASK HER for help with our. THAT would be bad, I think. And I don't think he thinks it would be a big deal to be that close with her as friends. So I was listening and he was talking to a guy friend. No prob. Then he told the friend I'll call you back later. So I kept listening to see what he would do. He called her. Told her some funny story. Then sat on the phone for like 10-15 minutes, occasionally saying, "how come you're not talking" "what's wrong". Then after more silence I THOUGHT I heard a kiss? just one. kinda odd. so I walked in the room and he hung up immediately without saying goodbye. And he had porn on the computer screen (we have an agreement about porn, THAT isnt the issue right now) but the fact that it was there while he was on the phone with her and hung up quickly saying his phone froze. He said she called him. Maybe earlier but not that time. He said he had just brought up the screen because they were getting off the phone anyway. Like I said there was no ok talk to you later bye. I asked him did he just kiss "nameless" over the phone. He got mad asking what are you talking about and of course I told him what I had heard and he just got pissed about me not trusting him and told me to leave the room.....I know I shouldn't have been eavesdropping. I know if all this was an innocent mistake then I messed up real bad. So assuming is was innocent, what should I do? I keep trying to talk about it because I'm the type who wants to talk about issues to solve them. Not ignore it til we've forgotten about it. I told him the real issue behind my eavesdropping is that I'm having a hard time dealing with the friendship that they have, not to mention the face that she has his only son. Something we tried our whole marriage to accomplish, only to get 3 girls. He said that's MY problem. But I need him to help me learn how to deal with it. And he won't.