Husband having inappropriate conversation with co-worker
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Old 09-26-2011, 03:52 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband having inappropriate conversation with co-worker

My husband and I used to work at the same place. I made a friend there and she is now his co-worker. We are kind of all friends but her and I are quite close.

She's enormously attractive and a huge flirt. She really loves male attention and she's very charismatic and beautiful. Anyway, he's told me in the past about certain things she's done (like appear at his doorstep and ask him if her dress is sl***y - the dress apparenty had a slit right up to the crotch.

Now I can see her doing that to any guy on the floor. That's how she is. But I was a bit upset with her for it. So that and a couple of other things had me weary, and I discussed with my husband how it worried me and he was very reassuring and agreed that she is very inappropriate at times.

Anyway.. I get freaked out when I watch scary movies. I watched one last night, so as I was working from home, my husband skyped me from his office so I wouldnt be "alone". Now, he forgot he had skype on and left for a meeting without saying goodbye and I didnt turn skype off either.

When he came back, he was having a conversation with my friend. It was a very animated conversation and after a while it was very sexual. Not as in a "come on" - more just jokes - but very, very, very explicitly sexual using words you probably shouldnt even say in front of a woman.

I'm very, very upset. The comments themselves I can forgive. What has upset me is that I had a conversation with him about this very woman - he reassured me in the privacy of our home. Then behind my back he exascerbates the situation and acts even more forward than I would dream she would act.

Ive spoken to him about it via text (it just happened today) and he's apologised etc etc but I just dont know how to feel. Any words from you guys would be much appreciated.

We have been married 3 years.
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Old 09-26-2011, 04:13 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband having inappropriate conversation with co-worker

After what you have heard it will be more appropriate for him to stay away from her. That's what i would say to him.
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Old 09-26-2011, 04:34 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband having inappropriate conversation with co-worker

Thats so much for answering.

Yeah, I can say that to him and he'll say "sure, absolutely". What good will it do? I can't trust what he says to reassure me anymore. That's what's so upsetting.

Also he shouldnt have to stay away from anyone - he should just behave decently. I just don't know what to think or feel. I have a headache and I feel so gutted about this.
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Old 09-26-2011, 05:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband having inappropriate conversation with co-worker

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Originally Posted by red_door View Post
Also he shouldnt have to stay away from anyone - he should just behave decently. .
That's for sure. But when he can't you need to set rules of behaving. Of course you'll never know what's happening when skype's off...Don't know, may be you should talk more about it, so that he understands he shouldn't behave like that, only because you're not there. Actually does he behave like that in front of you?
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Old 09-26-2011, 08:50 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband having inappropriate conversation with co-worker

Tell your H how you feel. If your this distraught over it, a text simply wont cut it. Keep those lines of communication strong.

Also, talk to your friend. Give her my address so she can harass me, not your Husband. Dont knock her down a peg, but let her know your not comfortable with how she is around your H. If she freaks, whatever. My problem now
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Old 09-26-2011, 09:14 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband having inappropriate conversation with co-worker

I'd be speaking to both of them. If I could do it when they're together, that would be even more effective. Let them both know that their conversations are inappropriate, and while this may not be the first time they've done it, it better be the last. Demand respect.
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Old 09-26-2011, 09:46 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband having inappropriate conversation with co-worker

You don't say what he said that was inappropriate and it would help if you did. Please elaborate.

Bottom line is you feel he crossed a line. He needs to not have contact wtih her. She sounds like a snake. And if he doesn't tell her to back off, he is just as bad.
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