What is wrong with me????
How long do I make this introduction? Well I will try to give the cliff note version.
My one desire since as far back as I can remember was to have love. All I ever wanted was love, romance, and affection. I have been married for 28 years to the same gal. For 26 of those years our marriage was more like room mates, although somehow we managed to have four kids along the way. Two years ago litterally as I was on my way out we somehow worked it out and the last two years have been great. We've had bumps along the way and had to work out trust issues from the first 26 years, but the last six months have been perfect. She is everything I ever dreamed my perfect love would be and more. She is romantic, affectionate, loving, attentive, perfect.
So, here is why I'm here. There is this dark thought lurking in the back of my mind that her love is false, or an act. It's totally screwed up and she has not given me any reason to feel this way, but that dark suspicion lurks there preventing me from really enjoying the relationship we have.
Am I just screwed up, is there something to this "gut feeling", or am I still holding on to issues from our first 26 years that I somehow need to let go so I can enjoy this happiness?