What is wrong with me????
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-06-2007, 04:10 AM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 5
Question What is wrong with me????

How long do I make this introduction? Well I will try to give the cliff note version.

My one desire since as far back as I can remember was to have love. All I ever wanted was love, romance, and affection. I have been married for 28 years to the same gal. For 26 of those years our marriage was more like room mates, although somehow we managed to have four kids along the way. Two years ago litterally as I was on my way out we somehow worked it out and the last two years have been great. We've had bumps along the way and had to work out trust issues from the first 26 years, but the last six months have been perfect. She is everything I ever dreamed my perfect love would be and more. She is romantic, affectionate, loving, attentive, perfect.

So, here is why I'm here. There is this dark thought lurking in the back of my mind that her love is false, or an act. It's totally screwed up and she has not given me any reason to feel this way, but that dark suspicion lurks there preventing me from really enjoying the relationship we have.

Am I just screwed up, is there something to this "gut feeling", or am I still holding on to issues from our first 26 years that I somehow need to let go so I can enjoy this happiness?
graniteheart is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-06-2007, 08:52 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
draconis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: North East
Posts: 3,717
Default Re: What is wrong with me????

I would say enjoy what you have now. Be thankful you are no longer roommates. Matbe there is something there, but chances are she finally resolved the issues of the first twenty-six years. Mabe she finally got what she wanted, or feels content with you and her family. My wife had issues that never surfaced until eight years into the marriage. She always wanted to go to college. After a long time it finally got to her. We had our seventh arguement over a miscommunication but we resolved things and she started work last year on going to college. She is the first one in her family to go to college and only the second to graduate high school. Upon getting into college she found that she has everything she always wanted and more.

With your situation I do not know what the trust issues were. The fact that they seem to be resolved after all these years says something. For the first time things are moving forward for you. Why screw up a good thing or as you put it "perfection".

I would suggest you deal with your issues and talk to some form of councilor to help you let go of whatever is holding you back from enjoying what you have. It seems to me that she finally did.

Now I am not saying that there might not be something there but all you can do is screw up what you have or never enjoy it if there isn't. Enjoy what you have for now. I wrote a thesis on my opinion about relationships on this forum. The second most important part of a healthy relationship to me was trust.

A good part of trust is forgiveness. Whatever is in the past needs to stay there if you want a future.

I wish you the best of luck, and keepus up to date.

Welcome to the forums and I hope you share with us on many topics.

draconis
draconis is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-06-2007, 12:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 5
Default Re: What is wrong with me????

That is excellent advice that I intend to take. Thank you for telling me what I already knew but couldn't accept it coming from myself.

What I have with her now is awesome. She is so much more than the girl I always dreamed I would have, and now that I have read your post I realize the problem is inside me. I need to let go of the past. Thanks, I'll keep you updated on our wonderful life together.
graniteheart is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-07-2007, 11:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
draconis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: North East
Posts: 3,717
Default Re: What is wrong with me????

Great to hear, I hope besides keeping us updated you feel okay with giving your knowledge and wisdom to others.

draconis
draconis is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Menage a Trois gone wrong....so wrong EbonyBreal The Ladies' Lounge 72 07-16-2012 11:26 PM
WTH is wrong with me right now? COguy General Relationship Discussion 32 01-27-2012 02:01 PM
What should I do? Am I wrong? lostinlove2002 General Relationship Discussion 3 08-15-2010 06:49 AM
What am I doing wrong??? sarah1971 General Relationship Discussion 3 07-06-2010 03:57 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:37 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.