Re: Dating After Divorce Advice?
I'm in agreement with those who say date both of them, but I'll add don't stop at two. After 10 years in a marriage that went bad you need to take your time, there are plenty of women who will want to date you. Many you haven't met yet will turn out to be better matches than the two you are worrying about.
From my personal and recent experience I can say don't confuse lust with love, or enjoyment with commitment.
Watch out for your own weaknesses - in my case I was lonely and horny and willing to ignore red flags. I'm really glad the first woman I fell for after leaving a 20+ year marriage realized that we weren't a good match.
I suggest you join several of the free dating sites, date a lot of women - at least two a week, and, if you find someone special ask her out again. Don't rush the relationship! If after a couple of dates you think she is very special, let her know. If you see problems - financial, job, drinking, drugs, family, baggage from former spouses or boy friends, arguing, frequent lateness, etc, etc, etc, don't bury these red flags - move on.
You probably aren't ready for a long term relationship, as much as you think you are.
Ask yourself "what do I want?" and "what don't I want?" and keep your answers in mind even when the lure of sex and companionship shines very brightly and they will.
I'm almost twice your age but remember very well how easily I fell into love where the red flags were visible but I hoped time and love would fix them - instead the issues intensified. My friends, male and female, tell me this is what they found - even those friends who are still married and reasonably happy.
Take your time, you are still young enough to spend a year dating and learning.
I should point out that although I dated several women a week for a while I stopped dating multiple women once physical and emotional intimacy began.
Last, but not least, have a couple of condoms handy at all times - STDs are real, and unplanned pregnancies can ruin a lot of lives, especially the life of an unwanted child.
If you have any doubts about your sexual health once an intimate relationship ends, ask your dr or local health department for STD tests - a quick blood draw and an ounce of urine can allow you to reassure the next woman in your life that you are healthy.