My husband has a three years old Victorian Bulldog that moved in with us, when he did, after we got married. Now, I love animals and have never had an issue with them, until now... About two weeks after moving in the dog pooped in my daughters room, ruining a rug. I thought this was just caused from a change of enviroment or whatever and wrote it off. The next week the dog peed and pooped in my other daughters room. My husband did not clean either mess. Over the course of four months the dog has completly destroyed my sofa and loveseat from shedding, drooling, and the smell. I tried to clean the furniture with no success. I started placing the dog in my kitchen while I left to avoid having him wreck the furniture more. The dog tore up my windowsill that I just painted a year ago. He has peed on my daughters stroller in front of me, peed on my patio furniture, and now for the past two days has been pooping all over my basement. My husband and I have discussed this many times and my husband just becomes defensive of the dog. He has make excuses for the dog as well. When we discussed the furniture he said "Nikko seeks out comfort and will find it no matter what". Okay, well my children and I want comfort too, like being able to sit in our living room... When I called him yesterday about the poop in the basement I said we needed to get a crate or perhaps find a new home for the dog. He hung up on me and when I called him back he said I needed to stop threatening him and the dog. I understand that a dog is "man's best friend", but come on!!! I am growing to hate this dog... My husband has made small changes such as telling the dog to get off our bed. The dog has had two baths in six months because "he has dry skin and doesn't like getting his head wet".... I don't want to make my husband get rid of the dog, but I refuse to let an animal destroy our home...
This happened to me and my husband with my cat. He refused to clean up after a problem even if HE was home and I was not... like you he became very accusatory to me about my cat. I felt attacked and like the problem was mine alone to deal with-- and I hated that.
Now, I agreed that the cat was a problem, but I wanted a cooperative solution, not a "your cat, your problem" attitude.
Can you approach him in a way that talks about your issues without getting into his? Can you ask him how you can help find a solution to this problem that you can both live with?
I think I'd just go buy a crate. Is your H the only one working?
My H and I adopted a two-year-old dog that was a mess when we first got her. She tore up everything, had accidents, and would bark non-stop when we left. We couldn't crate her because she would tear that up, too. Putting her outside wasn't an option since we lived in an apartment. For about three months we had to take her everywhere with us. Luckily I wasn't working at the time so I had a lot of time to train her and I could stay with her most of the day. I started watching The Dog Whisperer, watching dog trainers at the dog park, exercising her more (we roller blade with her for an hour every evening), teaching her tricks, taking her to doggie day care, and we got her a cat to keep her company on the days she doesn't go to day care (that helped the most). She's a very happy, healthy and obedient dog now.