10-07-2011, 05:46 PM
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: My side of the street
| | Re: Husband construes everything as critical???
Your husband suffered awful trauma during his childhood; he has brought it with him into adulthood. He sounds so wounded, that it becomes challenging for you have to think through how you word requests or responses.
So, how was he prior to marriage? Did you see indications of this while dating/engaged? How long did you two date before marrying?
I grew up with a mother who was mentally unstable (to say the least) and a mostly-absentee, indifferent father. I reacted differently than your husband, but it colored my life choices in partners, friends, career choices, etc., for years. And the choices I made were pretty sucky.
Have you considered IC in order to work on how you phrase things to him and also how you can get him into counseling? I'm sure if you suggested counseling at this point, he would say something along the lines of, "So you think I'm nuts, huh?!?"
I refuse to make anyone a priority in my life who considers me nothing more than an option.
You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.