NoIssues

First, the OP offered several exceptions in the case of mental illness for example.

Secondly, where is the claim there are not different types of need and degrees of needs? Yes agreed and like the OP says, if you dont meet them regardless of what they are and their degree, youre toast over time.

Here are three all inclusive categories to disprove your point that it is illogical to group all blankety blanks into three categories

1. Married with young children
2. Married with grown childrren
3. Married with no children

There are no other groups you could add. That covers all the possibilities.

Who is being illogical?

NoIssues

With complexity we have understanding and with simplification we have confusion?

Ever taken Myers Briggs test? That right there is the difference between a Sensor and an Intuitor.

Its fascinating to say the least understanding would be rejected because its too simple. It must be complex to be valid why?

Runs like Dog

I don't want to come across like a nutcase but I'm not convinced my wife has any need of companionship or 'primal' needs either. I know I don't or nearly don't.

nice777guy

How many types of women are there?

Hoping a man answers - otherwise - all remaining space on this board may get used up.

Don't many women settle for a type 1 or type 2?

I think its great that such a few people have figured all these secrets out. I just feel sorry for the 3 billion (or whatever) remaining people on this planet who are still in the dark...

LuvMyH

What is the definition of a "successful" relationship? I think it's subjective. Some last a lifetime but outsiders might not consider them "successful". I think any of these three types of men are capable of having a " successful" relationship with a woman who is compatible with that type of man.
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NoIssues

Talk about starting with the basics.

Definition of a successful marriage: A marriage where both spouses are fully loved, fulfilled, satisfied, happy, wish and expect to continue and can not and do not imagine life with out their spouse.

If you think a man that does not meet his wifes needs can have a long term successful marriage I can not take you seriously.

Compatitble with someone that doesnt meet your needs? Good grief. This is getting sad. It defies common sense. That would be the opposite of the dictionary meaning of compatible dont you think?

nice777guy

What percent of the time does it have to meet these requirements? No marriage is happy ALL the time.

Most people at SOME POINT imagine a life without their spouse. Most will daydream at some point about how the grass "may" be greener. How many daydreams per week to keep is in the "happy" range?

LuvMyH

What I am saying is that not all women expect all of their needs to be fulfilled by their partner. Some may place much greater emphasis on one or the other and be happy with that need being met. To me, the thought of requiring your spouse to fulfill all of your needs reeks of entitlement. To others, entitlement isn't a bad word and they would settle for nothing less. To each, their own.

I am close to the middle child of a large family. I don't require everything going my way in order to be happy. I adapt easily. My husband was an only child and is more high maintenance, in that sense. For the most part, we balance each other out. There are all kinds of factors that affect our relationships. I just think that this notion of expecting your spouse to meet all of your needs is the cause of alot of divorces. I pick what's important to me and work on that. I don't sweat stuff that isn't a priority to me.

Some women are perfectly happy with companionship and don't give a second thought to lust. Some are the opposite. Some have needs that aren't related to either of those. Many still have life long happy relationships. And yes, I think you can be compatible with someone even if they don't meet all of your needs. It's just my opinion and you don't have to agree with it, but I will still take you seriously because I know you're entitled to your opinion and I'm pretty open minded.
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RDJ

I don't believe that you can narrow a man or woman down to three things. But If I had to.

women.

1. Overly selfish. Walk all over their husband.

2. Overly giving. Get walked all over by their husband.

3. Balanced. Know how to give and take equally. Know how to give and recieve love equally.

When woman #3 is with man #3, they will have a long happy marriage.

assuming the addictions are not clouding the marriage?

Respecfully,

RDJ

NoIssues

Looks good to me.

NoIssues

Uh huh

Kobo

This could be said in reverse. Men have both those needs also. So whats the point of thread? These needs also change over time without warning to the other spouse. Could it be that both parties need to realize that an LTR is work and will die if not continually focused on by both parties? The most successful marriages have mutual respect and the desire to make your partner happy and comfortable in the relationship.

__________________
“In thy foul throat thou liest.”
― William Shakespeare, Richard III

NoIssues

Agreed.

It seems to me most nondysfunctional adults can get along fine in marriage for a few years, perhaps three, then the little irritants start to get some real footing but they dont do any real damage for a few more years.

At about the five year mark all the little annoyance residue better have a mechanism to get itself flushed out or frustration starts getting built up to an unmanageable level.

It also seems the patience starts to run real lean after several years of not getting the needed amount and type of passion and companionship.

There seems to be a critical mass of resentment and frustration which can not be tolerated. Everyone has their own unique amount of neglect they can tolerate. If it comes to that before a resolution gets worked out, the marriage is over. Its too late.

Barring the critical mass being reach and dysfunctional behavior, a turnaround is achievable and the methods rather well known. Its either the critical mass of frustration and resentment or the dysfunction that seems to kill the possibility of saving a marriage.

Lon

Yep, that's the way it is and always has been, and I am finally beginning to accept that.

Smiley90

People are complex beings & when you put 2 of us together that only makes things more complex! Every person has their own individual needs, desires, & personalities. Each person also experiences a variety of situations in different environments & adjust so in a way they see fit. So that in turn, makes it extremely hard to say he/she fits in a specific category. It all depends on a numerous amount of factors. However, I do believe that a couple experiencing a problem(s) can break it down & at the bottom they will find a simple category they can place the problem in, not the person in. A man/woman who meets the companionship needs of their partner is also meeting the primal needs of their partner. Not vice versa. Personally speaking, at one time or another my husband has been the type 1,type 2, and type 3. Hell, type 4,5,6,7 & so on..but it's only at times, not permanently & because of that we are still together. & In his defense, I'm sure I've been a few of those "types" at times.