General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
I'm seeking some advice before it is too late. My husband and I have been together for 16 years and married for 4. Recently we have been having some problems. Our family is tearing us apart.
First his mother can not stand me, this woman straight up hates me. She has told me on numerous occasions that she wishes her son would find someone else anyone besides me. now my daughter who is 20 years old, has started acting out towards my husband, my daughters father has not been in the picture, so my husband has acted as her father since the day we meet, Now he cant say a word to her with out her acting like a fool. My younger brother( who is a hot head) has physically assulted my husband, and my family is mad at me for siding with my husband. This resolved in my family asking us to leave the home that my mother owns, that we rent. At the same time my husband lost his job because of the injuries my brother inflicted, so my husband had to move with his mother, ( I'm not allowed there) and I had to move with other family members (his not allowed there). So we have some what of a distant relationship which is driving me and him crazy. We are currently looking for a place to move.
Do you know why each of your family hates the other? I assume since you have been with him for 16 years, that it hasn't been like this since day 1. Did anyone ever get along? You say your brother assaulted your husband that resulted in injuries preventing your husband from working, is your brother at least in jail? If it were my brother who did that and in turn compromised my quality of life by preventing my H from working, i'd be filing a civil suit, sorry, but if they didn't like my situation is give them more of a reason! How long have you lived in the home your mother owns? Is she kicking you out because of your H only, or could there be other reasons? Just trying to understand a little more of the dynamics seeing as how y'all have been together almost two decades now. Posted via Mobile Device
H and I have several reason that we think the my family dislikes him. Before H I was somewhat of a pushover, my fam used to borrow money from me and never pay it back. ( H does't allow borrowing of money,H says that we have our own family to support and also we do not borrow money) When I would ask for it I was given excuses and some would start fights with me. As far as him brother been in jail for the assult. the police where called and nothing happen. Several family member beg and pleded with us to not take any legal matters (my mother), we lived in the house for 7 years, I guess they asked us to move because my brother stays with my mother and step father next door. I think this is another reason that my family is so crazy we see each other all day everyday. We all live in the same area ( next door, across the street or around the corner ) from each other.
Hopefully your husband will get well and then you need to move.
If you are living at his mother's home or rental, she feels control over you. Once you are financially able, then move.
I have a difficult mother but my wife handled her beautfully and they are now very close. Do not get into arguments with his mother, be polite but you need not do more.
Quote:
Originally Posted by iusetonehislady
I'm seeking some advice before it is too late. My husband and I have been together for 16 years and married for 4. Recently we have been having some problems. Our family is tearing us apart.
First his mother can not stand me, this woman straight up hates me. She has told me on numerous occasions that she wishes her son would find someone else anyone besides me. now my daughter who is 20 years old, has started acting out towards my husband, my daughters father has not been in the picture, so my husband has acted as her father since the day we meet, Now he cant say a word to her with out her acting like a fool. My younger brother( who is a hot head) has physically assulted my husband, and my family is mad at me for siding with my husband. This resolved in my family asking us to leave the home that my mother owns, that we rent. At the same time my husband lost his job because of the injuries my brother inflicted, so my husband had to move with his mother, ( I'm not allowed there) and I had to move with other family members (his not allowed there). So we have some what of a distant relationship which is driving me and him crazy. We are currently looking for a place to move.
H and I have several reason that we think the my family dislikes him. Before H I was somewhat of a pushover, my fam used to borrow money from me and never pay it back. ( H does't allow borrowing of money,H says that we have our own family to support and also we do not borrow money) When I would ask for it I was given excuses and some would start fights with me. As far as him brother been in jail for the assult. the police where called and nothing happen. Several family member beg and pleded with us to not take any legal matters (my mother), we lived in the house for 7 years, I guess they asked us to move because my brother stays with my mother and step father next door. I think this is another reason that my family is so crazy we see each other all day everyday. We all live in the same area ( next door, across the street or around the corner ) from each other.
How long ago was the assault? There's a year time frame in which you can press charges, at least in our state (TN). If they begged and pleaded for you not to do anything then and you didn't because of their wishes, I'd personally go back and press charges seeing as how they're continuing to cause you and your H problems. But, yes, you definitely need to move out of your mothers place. Posted via Mobile Device
You are doing the right thing by finding a new place. Make it far away from haters and troublemakers. Your teenage daughter is being a pain, we have gone through the same thing. Don;t take it personally, love and support her and she will grow out of it. Be patient and take care of yourselves. I moved 300 miles away from my family. My life is wonderful.
1st why is your H. not on disability---2nd, why haven't you filed a civil action agst., your brother---and don't tell me blood is thicker than water----your brother didn't think that way, when he wrecked your H's earning capabilities
Time for you both to suck it up, and move in together someplace on your own---and tell both families to either accept you both, or to stay out of your lives
As to your daughter, if she can't act civally toward your H., then she needs to leave, and support herself also
If you WANT a happy mge., and your H. will be the one taking you into your golden years, not your families---then get rid of the drama---and do your own thing
Husband is feed up with my family 
Re: Husband is feed up with my family 
