draconis

Arguments

When was your last argument with your significant other?

How often do you argue?

Have you every brought up old stuff later on after the issue was resolved ? Do they?

How fast is the issue(s) solved?

draconis

draconis

My wife and I have had seven arguments in ten years. five I started over getting help to clean the house. her two were money issues once and I didn't understand/support what she wanted. As we are still together you can see they all worked out. Most of the arguments lasted for more then a day as it took time to resolve the issues we had or progress had to be seen. Overall though I'd say we have done well.

draconis

icey

My fiance & I argue or "fight" would be a better word about once a month usualy consisting of him screaming and swearing at me ( I am not a yeller I like to talk things over so when he does this it upsets me greatly) & in front of our 3 year old saying he's leaving then he takes off in his car tearing of up the road, he's 34 years old mind you. He's always bring stuff up from weeks before from things I may have said or done even though I may have not relised it & he wont tell me at the time like I ask him too! Usualy because of the severity of the fights I dont want to talk to him for sometimes a few hours or a day after, even if it is resolved sometimes he wont discuss it & it fades away for a while..
My head is just a scramble of thoughts right now after 12 years of relationship.
icey

draconis

How was your relationship before this one? What was the guy like?

draconis

icey

Ive never been in another relationship I met him when I was 17 & we have been together ever since, he was my first sexual partner as well..
icey

draconis

Okay I can tell you this, not everyone is the same. In the other thread we can talk through each of the issues. If you are calm while he is yelling there is a problem. He needs to grow up. If you are remaining calm, then I would say he needs anger management classes and fast. I would make that a must to the possibility of continuing the relationship.

draconis

icey

I should have put this in the other thread! he did do anger managment councilling once he went twice & said he didnt need to go back cause he was better & when I said he needed to we got into a fight over that..
icey

draconis

What a fool. He thinks he is okay? Are you kidding. Sounds like he doesn't want to change. You deserve a man that will treat you with respect.

draconis

aeroz

Tonite

About once every 3-4 weeks on the average, but usually they last for a maximum of 2 hours. Lately they've been lasting days.

Yep.

Sometimes minutes, sometimes days. More recently, days.

evenow

This is an interesting topic. My husband and I typically don't have arguments as most people think of them, because we both avoid confrontation. We have passive-aggressive arguments.

Hmmmn. I think it was yesterday.

Perhaps once or twice a month.

Yes. Mostly because the real issues are rarely resolved even when the surface issues are.

It usually takes a day. The conversation/confrontation happens and then the next day we talk more and close the subject for a while.

ACCER

3am today.

It lasted about 5 minutes.....

No one brings up much of anything. Like above, the surface issue is scratched but the main issue is unresolved, whatever it may be. We've been together 10 years.

evenow

Wow. If my husband tried to start a fight at 3am he'd be talking to himself. I'm not functional enough to communicate at that hour.

And I'm sorry we have similar situations, ACCER. It sucks when those arguments happen because at least one person is left thinking: "Where did THAT come from?! Towels? Did we just have a fight over towels?"

draconis

Wow normally the only time I have fought with my wife, was over major stuff very few times but very intense.

draconis

evenow

draconis, if you're addressing me...

Usually when my husband and I argue its rarely over anything major. On major stuff we have similar minds about many things and have come to many agreements and compromises over the years. But we didn't have the best childhoods/past relationships so there are some... legacy issues.

I used towels as an example, but we've fought over silly things before--and it rarely turns out to be about what we're really fighting over. We get heated over things that touch our hidden buttons: power/control, self esteem issues, etc.

draconis

evenow ~ Not you per se. It is just funny my relationship is less frequent but more intense.

draconis