Bedroom etiquette?
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Old 12-17-2008, 12:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Bedroom etiquette?

Just curious to know what some of you all think about a husband and wife that sleep in different bedrooms? And have slept in different bedrooms for quite awhile, also this same couple have not been intimate in several months.
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Old 12-17-2008, 12:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

babyblue, how old are you and how long have you guys been married?

I would never allow my wife to sleep in another room.

What is really going on here? there has to be more to it.
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Old 12-17-2008, 01:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

OK I did some searching of your old posts...

anyway, so he has been having an emotional affair and you been ahving a real affair, Sounds simply like you two do not want to be with each other anymore.

I say, go and find happiness, obviously neither one of you are happy.

Time to move on and settle things. I know your looking for answers, but you already know them.

Don't view it as a failure, just a mistake and it is time to correct your life and move on.

best of luck.
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Old 12-17-2008, 01:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

This is just a couple that I know. I am not talking about my marriage. I have tried to find answers to this, but I cant understand it.
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Old 12-17-2008, 01:10 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

well my answer stays the same, obviously they are not happy with each other for what ever reason, life is to short to stay married to someone you do not wish to be with.

If my wife were to do that I would divorce her, not out of anger, but serves us no purpose to be together if we are not happy.
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Old 12-17-2008, 03:09 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

But they do have kids and claim to be happy. I wonder if they are not just staying in it for their kids.
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Old 12-17-2008, 03:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

Maybe one of them has a snoring problem.

Or maybe their troubles go deeper and they just aren't talking about it with their friends, but rather putting on a show that things are okay and they are happy. There could be many reasons.
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Old 12-17-2008, 05:04 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

I used to have my own bedroom for a while, years ago. I used to start the evening in the double bed with my wife, have sex, and then crawl off to my own bedroom to sleep. I never found it easy to get a good night's sleep with another person in the bed.

Eventually, I realised it was not a good thing for the marriage, my sleep is not as good, but our nights are warmer I love her so much, I can't bear to be without her.

Why don't you ask your friends what the deal is, and REPORT BACK TO US
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Old 12-17-2008, 06:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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You sound so in love Mark. How long have you been married? I have asked my friend why this was this way. He couldnt really tell me other then he said he didn't feel sexually attracted to his wife. He said he loved her but wasnt attracted to her.

I asked if he had ever talked to his wife about not sleeping together as a married couple and he said that he hadn't. It's been going on now for at least 7 years.

I just thought since he wouldnt make the effort to make it better that maybe I could get some insight into it and maybe help them out if they needed it. I dont want to intrude into their life together so I thought I would check to see if anyone had any advice.
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Old 12-18-2008, 12:06 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

Simple answer is there's no passion in the marriage.

There's a number of reasons, probably a combination or all of the following:

* In a level 1 or 2 relationship (In it for their own needs - driven by fear at some level, and not coming from a true place of love)
* Not meeting each others 6 human needs a the level they both desire. Probably scoring between 0-6 on a 0-10 scale.
* No polarity - Husband no longer dominant in masculine energy, wife is no longer dominant in feminine energy or both.
* Have no plans for an outstanding relationship. Good relationships gets poor results, excellent relationships get good results, outstanding relationships get outstanding results. Most people get divorced cause they're in a good relationship.
* Not loving the spouse in a way where it's accepted by them
* Man not being present

I've written topics on the above on the forums, a lil short on time to explain it, but do a search and you'll find them.
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Old 12-18-2008, 02:42 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

every relationship is different and personal to eachother. sometimes looking into another persons relationship to deeply often affects the apple cart because it really has nothing to with n e one else.
i give another example - a mate of mine involves herself in how i run my financial affairs with my H. we both put in 50/50 into a joint account. but it works for us. i have to remind her that how she does her stuff, is how it works for her. but not for everyone.
it really has nothing to do with n e else.
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Old 12-18-2008, 08:04 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

I just want them to be happy. I can understand the sleeping in different bedrooms part, but not having any kind of sexual contact for almost a year is not normal, I dont think.

I really just wanted to help. I was a little confused about their relationship and it seems to me that if you truly loved someone how could you go that long without any physical contact.
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Old 12-18-2008, 10:39 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

Quote:
Originally Posted by babyblues7 View Post
You sound so in love Mark. How long have you been married? I have asked my friend why this was this way. He couldnt really tell me other then he said he didn't feel sexually attracted to his wife. He said he loved her but wasnt attracted to her.
We have been together just under 20 years. The love is getting stronger every year.

I would say their relationship is crap. How do they seem? It sounds like they are the most boring people that one could ever meet. I say that because they don't even talk about it. The guy probably masturbates to let off his sexual steam, so that he does not need to get that from his wife. What a waste. If he stopped jerking for a month, he would be so desperate, he would tackle it. I have nothing against solo sex, except when it's being practised by married celibates. It just shows there is no spark.

They have settled for non-confrontational mediocrity. Every wise person will tell you to leave well alone, let them drown in their own melancholy. However, it might just be time for life to send them somebody with a big spoon to stir them up, and that person could be you! So I am very interested to hear more. Very interested.
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Old 12-18-2008, 11:01 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Bedroom etiquette?

my wife and i sleep in different rooms. main reason is i snore like a bear. second reason is i go to bed early, she stays up late. third reason, i'm 6 foot 4, 275 and when i move in bed it disturbs her.
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