yano

hello! i would like to start about our marriage...well our marriage has been unhealthy since we had a child....we are living with my mother in law, we are depending on her cause we doesn't have a single cent...i know she wants to get rid of us and i can feel it even if she don't say anything about it, it shows in her actions towards me and my husband...the thing is I'm not seeing any effort from my husband to be responsible...he's drinking every night and he's not looking for a job... he ask money from his mother for our family's needs...and I'm very very tired of our situation...even our sex life is dead, cause we don't have any privacy from this house especially from his mother, she doesn't go to work cause she's also depending from her husband's income, which is NOT my husbands father by the way....and it's embarrassing for me really to ask any help from my mother in law cause, it's actually her husband who's been taking care of our expenses...and it's been really nice of him though to not hear any complaints about us living in his house...he works abroad so he earns a lot of money....and now my whole point is that my husband should be responsible enough to stand for his own family, for me and for our daughter...now I'M looking for a job cause i want to have saving for my daughter while she's growing up. and i want to leave this house AND my husband, cause we've been like this for TWO years.... I hope somebody out there could give me an advice...i want to get rid of this burden in my chest... Thanx

FirstYearDown

Was he always this lazy and irresponsible?

Since he is unlikely to change, divorce would be the most sensible option. It has been two years!

If you have to depend on your in laws, you were not ready to become parents. It is too late now, but keep that in mind in case you have another one.

I will never understand women who choose lazy men, to father their children. My best friend's boyfriend is the same and now they are living with her mother. It is very hard for me to pretend that I like this bum.

A Bit Much

Can you and the child go to your mother's or another one of your family members for assistance? That's what I would do. Get a job and move out with the child.

gonefishin

Yano

The first thing you should do is thank your mother in laws husband.

This guy knows your in a bind. He knows his step son is a lazy slug.
I think he would appreciate the thank you. Let him know when you get back on your feet you will pay him back.

Second thing you should do is have a plan. One of the posts here recommended you leaving with your child and going to your mothers house. Do this without the husband. Leave the trash behind.

If you love your husband. Tell him so, but tell him he needs to grow up, stop drinking, and get a job. Until he accomplishes these three things he is on his own.

Now your husband is forced to take a hard look in the mirror. Does he want to live with his mommy for the rest of his life or does he want to be a grown up and get a job and support his wife and child?

Be firm. Stick to the plan.

Don't forget. Thank the mother in laws husband before you do this. You will have an ally.