When I read an interesting thread here on TAM, many times I'll visit some other (random) forums to read about other people's experiences in the same/similar situation(s). Time and time again, I will read about how some man is angry because the woman he is dating is "making" him wait for sex.
This couldn't be further from the truth.
While it's true that SOME women will consciously "make" a man wait, for the sole purpose of deliberately trying to frustrate him, the majority of women are not doing this for that reason.
I resent the term that a woman is "making" a man do anything. She's not holding a gun to his head, threatening him with bodily harm or forcing him to remain celibate while dating her. He's free to go find someone else to have sex with, especially since sex is so easy to get these days. (I actually read a complaint from a man who felt a certain woman was "making" him wait...for 3 weeks...while he was involved in a LTR FWB situation!)
The second issue I have with this is the reason behind her decision to wait before having sex. Seems that some men think they already have it all figured out that women "who do this" are "playing games" with him.
As a woman who is interested in a LTR, I want to get to know a man before having sex with him. I want to learn his character...to see if his words match his actions...to observe him in different situations...to discover if his beliefs about life in general coincide with my own. I want to see if he's trustworthy. And I'm sorry to generalize, but it's been my experience that many men will LIE in order to get laid. They can tell you they want an LTR (with YOU) when the whole time, they just want to have sex. They can tell you that they are 'Christian', but it might take you several more weeks or months before discovering how non-Christian they really are.
Just like a man wants to "test drive" a woman before committing to her, she also wants to "test drive" a man...
...and not be pressured into signing on the dotted line by some smooth talking used car salesman! She wants the time to do her homework/research. She wants to kick the tires, see how it handles in the rain and test the brakes. She wants to make sure she's getting value for her 'investment'. When she walks away, she'll be thinking about all of the information she's learned (so far) and she doesn't want to make the wrong decision.
All of this takes time.
I'm writing this in order to encourage you (men) to please understand that women have a LOT more to lose by jumping into the sack with a man too soon. It's a reason why she wants to take her time evaluating her situation before making a decision.
Can you understand that? It really isn't about YOU.
This couldn't be further from the truth.
While it's true that SOME women will consciously "make" a man wait, for the sole purpose of deliberately trying to frustrate him, the majority of women are not doing this for that reason.
I resent the term that a woman is "making" a man do anything. She's not holding a gun to his head, threatening him with bodily harm or forcing him to remain celibate while dating her. He's free to go find someone else to have sex with, especially since sex is so easy to get these days. (I actually read a complaint from a man who felt a certain woman was "making" him wait...for 3 weeks...while he was involved in a LTR FWB situation!)
The second issue I have with this is the reason behind her decision to wait before having sex. Seems that some men think they already have it all figured out that women "who do this" are "playing games" with him.
As a woman who is interested in a LTR, I want to get to know a man before having sex with him. I want to learn his character...to see if his words match his actions...to observe him in different situations...to discover if his beliefs about life in general coincide with my own. I want to see if he's trustworthy. And I'm sorry to generalize, but it's been my experience that many men will LIE in order to get laid. They can tell you they want an LTR (with YOU) when the whole time, they just want to have sex. They can tell you that they are 'Christian', but it might take you several more weeks or months before discovering how non-Christian they really are.
Just like a man wants to "test drive" a woman before committing to her, she also wants to "test drive" a man...
...and not be pressured into signing on the dotted line by some smooth talking used car salesman! She wants the time to do her homework/research. She wants to kick the tires, see how it handles in the rain and test the brakes. She wants to make sure she's getting value for her 'investment'. When she walks away, she'll be thinking about all of the information she's learned (so far) and she doesn't want to make the wrong decision.
All of this takes time.
I'm writing this in order to encourage you (men) to please understand that women have a LOT more to lose by jumping into the sack with a man too soon. It's a reason why she wants to take her time evaluating her situation before making a decision.
Can you understand that? It really isn't about YOU.