HSSW164

Since my husband and I have been married (3 years), I have tried to make our apartment feel like a home. I have only decorated once. (and when I say decorate, I mean get a couple new throw pillows, pictures or candles. I don't repaint, I don't get new furniture, I avoid totally feminine decor). This last time, I decided to get rid of some clutter and rearranged a couple prices of furniture. My husband gets SO upset and angry and I'm not sure why?! Why does he get so upset when I change one or two things?! Can any other husband relate?! How can I get him to understand that I want a nice and warm place to live and that I like to change a thing or two here and there?! Any advice?

Voiceofreason

Does he say what it is that makes him angry? Is he resistent to change in general? Does he just dislike your taste? Is he angry because you have unilaterally imposed your taste on his living quarters without the courtesy of consulting with him about his ideas and arriving at a joint decision?

NoIssues

I think you might have won the marital bliss secret decoder ring and a lifetime supply of toaster strudle. Just kidding.

This might be it.

I used to care because I didnt want to say goodbye to sentimental things she would calously toss until I realized how much more hot wife tail I would get if I kept my mouth shut and moved forward. It was sort of like being gently asked to give up my snot-ridden security blanket instead of having it pryed from my cold dead fingers. I want the chance to discuss it before I say goodbye to my stuff.

Said another way, perhaps you are being insensitive with his sentimentality

You must not be married that long or your hub would know how to pick his battles.

coldshoulder

Yup, I used to get my snot in a not when my wifey -then GF- would just "move my stuff around" without me...wait until he is home and make the change together...much safer...and be willing to compromise...it is the key to a happy life!!

Later.

Kobo

He might not like throw pillows and floral designs Also, was this his place that you moved into?

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michzz

This is the key part. Your definition of clutter may not match his. And the furniture arrangement may have messed up something like his TV viewing.

gonefishin

How old is your husband?

Unless you are on a tight budget, he should appreciate the fact that you care about your home. Ask him why he is upset. Does he want you to be a slob?

I love when my wife works around the house. It is cheap labor. Just kidding.

tacoma

Maybe he cares because he lives there too and has an opinion and preference to how he likes things, just like you do.

swedish

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~Swedish

No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.
Albert Einstein

DoYouWoo

Was it his place first, then you moved in? If so, he still sees it as 'his place', not 'our place'. Having said that, my wife and I didn't live together before we were married and then just argued for the first 6 months about why-the-hell-do-you-do-things-like-that type stuff, just getting used to sharing space I guess - though 3 years for you seems a long time! Maybe involve him in all this decoration-stuff though, like sit down with a catalogue or go to an IKEA or something together and talk about what you both like?