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Separate Accounts

3K views 56 replies 30 participants last post by  PhillyGuy13 
#1 ·
Do you all have separate bank accounts? We had them before we were married, so we just kept it that way. But for some reason I feel that once you are married that everything should become "one".
 
#2 ·
When married we had one account. I think if I remarried, even though the guy I'm casually involved with is very conservative with money and we are VERY much on the same page financially, I'd combine one account for all household and mutual expenses and still have a separate account for our own. It's nice to be able to surprise them with a gift that wasn't purchased from a joint account or to spend money on something they may be better off not know the price of! haha as long as it's within your own account's budget.
 
#3 ·
When I was married I had a joint account with my wife, and she had her own small savings account. If I were to ever get married again I'd have a joint account and each of us would also have a personal account. We'd put our salaries into the joint account and use it to pay bills and then split the leftover money into our personal accounts so that we each had some degree of financial independence. I'd also keep a separate account that had my pre-marital assets in it so that if I ever got divorced again there would have been no co-mingling of the premarital money.
 
#4 ·
During my first marriage, we had a joint account where everything went into it. I had to travel a lot and my (then) wife liked to do the books. It worked but I could never figure out how she ran the books. To this day I am not sure where all of our money went.

After we separated, I took over my own finances and I know where it all goes. Plus I like to save a lot if I can.

Now in my second marriage, not sure why, but I am reluctant to release control of my earning that way again. My wife is the same way. So we each have our own personal accounts where our paychecks go. Then we have a joint account where the bills are paid. I added up all the joint bills for a year and divided by 12 and then again by 2. We each deposit that amount in the joint account for paying the bills. The remainder in our personal accounts is for our individual use, such as our respective child's college, personal items, ect.

If we have major purchases, we sit down and discuss it and how it will be paid. Then we pay our respective share.
 
#5 ·
I am with ejoli. When I was married we had a joint account. If I ever remarried I wouldn't do that again for all expenses. We would have a bills account that we both continued to equally and then our own accounts for the rest. Like it or not things change after divorce and remarriage and this is one of them. You have to have built in backups
 
#6 ·
My wife and I have joint accounts. I've offered to set up a separate account for her so she can buy (minor) things for herself without consulting me but she didn't want me to, so I didn't.

I do all the account balancing and taxes, but I also maintain a file of instructions on how to get at everything if I'm unavailable either temporarily or permanently.
 
#7 ·
We each have separate checking accounts and a joint savings account to transfer money. It's mainly just logistics, it's "one big pot" and not hers or mine, it's our money. We each have our own credit cards (but mainly use the one with the best rewards for us). We do/did this in part in case something happened to one us it might be a bit easier to deal.
 
#8 ·
No, everything is joint... joint money, joint assets, joint trust.
 
#12 ·
For a marriage with kids, everything's joint.

Any significant expense is approved by both of us.

This assumes there is no problem with reckless spending.

I manage the accounts and the bills. She could join me if she wanted to, but she doesn't.

If this was a second marriage with no kids, I'd keep separate accounts.
 
#13 ·
We have a joint checking/savings account, and she has a couple savings accounts that she has part of her paycheck deposited into (these are the accounts that she uses to make "loans" to a certain family member who won't live within their means, but we need to support this person anyway).

My business partner and I also have a large account at work which we don't touch - she doesn't see it because if she did, she'd want to spend it. She knows that my partner and I have the office accounts, but she thinks we need it for operations, when it's more because we don't want our wives to spend it.
 
#14 ·
did joint account for 20 yrs until I found her being irresponsible and her own account with lots of debt.

I would never share an account with anybody for any reason ever again. the money I make is mine. I earned it and I'll decide what to do with it. and if any woman isn't on board with that then ......NEXT.
 
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#15 ·
We have a joint account. My sisters had joint accounts with their first husbands, but not with current husbands. Their names are on each other's accounts for access if needed, though. Our parents had a joint account in the beginning, but eventually decided to go with separate accounts.

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#16 ·
First marriage we started with zero. Combined account, etc. Everything was joint.

Now with many more assets, etc and years to get their ain't no way in heck I'd just give someone access like that even if married. People do funny things with money, especially if they have not had to work/earn it.

Even if I were to remarry, I'd have be with her a LONG time to have a joint account in which she had unfettered access to my account.

Maybe get a joint account and start saving and building an account together. Just sign over access to all my assets just because I got remarried? Oh he|l no.
 
#17 ·
We have one main account. My W has her own account. My W is a SAHM. The separate account gives here a bit of independence in the sense that when she uses money from the main account for things for herself she feels like she is taking away money to run the home month to month. So, the account she has allows her to spend on herself without feeling like she is creating a problem making ends meet for the month. Funny part thought is she usually spends her money on things for the house. She is not much into frivolous spending. It just works for us.
 
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#18 ·
My husband and I have always had separate accounts, and most likely always will.

I get quite a bit of grief from other married individuals when they hear we don't have a joint account, but sometimes it is for the best. I am very conservative with my money and he is not.
 
#19 ·
When we wed, my intention was to put her name on my bank account. Fortunately, we moved and I had to work long hours at work, get groceries in, sort food out, clean/repair the home etc. This meant I did not have time to merge our accounts and pretty soon realized I could not trust her with a merged account. Luck comes in strange forms.
 
#22 ·
There is no excuse for being nieve when it comes to finances . The mere exercise of combining all monies and assets is dangerous and foolish , especially in any case where you don't really know the other person financial disciplines ........ When it comes time for the lawyers to make a case against you , the money thing is an easy argument and the most damaging issue to be confronted with .
I'm against joint anything when it comes to money or assets .......... Love does not mean you agree to get screwed to the wall
 
#27 ·
Just because a couple decides to combine all finances doesn't make them naive. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with someone that it makes you think it's on to label everyone who does not follow your chosen path as foolish. Sorry, but when I married, it wasn't "his and hers", it became "ours". It's fine that you choose to keep your finances separate, but you ate wrong to tell someone that he or she is foolish for choosing something that works for them.

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#23 ·
My first marriage, we had a joint checking and savings account and put all our earnings in it. It was fine for the most part but my ex was a spendthrift and I was always overruled when I disagreed over large expenses. He'd spend what he wanted, period.

Now my H and I have our own accounts, then a joint account for paying bills and joint purchases. It works out for us both. We both believe that money is fungible, however we are responsible for managing our own before contributing to the pot.
 
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#24 ·
We have joint accounts. My H handles the finances. I Do have a savings account that he has designated as being mine. Probably because I'm a SAHM he thinks i need/want it. He is tight on a dollar and I'm just the opposite although I'm getting better since we've had kids. When he gets paid we both get the same amount of cash spending money. Anything i spend beyond that is discussed with him first. For example the weather is just beginning to get warm here so I sent him a quick text that I was going clothes shopping for the kids because I knew I would be buying a lot. If he wants me to keep it to a certain amount he will let me know.

Truthfully he complains about any amount of money I spend but I think he feels somehow obligated to do so, so it doesn't bother me. But I know he is always lookkng to build our savings I would never spend beyond his ability to do that.
 
#29 ·
We have one joint account and then my W and I have separate checking accounts. It was easy, we simply transfer money into the joint account to cover household bills, and the money left in our individual accounts is for us to do as we please. Likewise, our investments accounts, some are in my name solely and some are in hers (heck, I am the one who set up the accounts in her name). Don't see any need to create a master joint account, and we have never had issues with how to handle our finances. I don't like the idea of combining all money into one account, I like each person to feel like they have money of their own to with as they please.
 
#30 ·
We have one joint account and then my W and I have separate checking accounts. It was easy, we simply transfer money into the joint account to cover household bills, and the money left in our individual accounts is for us to do as we please. Likewise, our investments accounts, some are in my name solely and some are in hers (heck, I am the one who set up the accounts in her name). Don't see any need to create a master joint account, and we have never had issues with how to handle our finances. I don't like the idea of combining all money into one account, I like each person to feel like they have money of their own to with as they please.
That's basically what we do too. It's so much easier with online banking, was a lot trickier and required more attention back in the stone age.

Heck the reason my wife still sets up most payments dates back to paying paper bills with paper checks, she didn't work full time so did it.
 
#31 ·
As long as both spouses have access to all accounts within the marriage, I would say that it really is a matter of personal preference. Earlier in our marriage, my wife had a separate checking account that I deposited money into every month - she did not like me critiquing her purchases - I happen to be very tight with money as I did not grow up in a lucrative home like she did. She also had her own credit card. I never even thought to check these accounts - well, she lost control and hid debt from me. My wife has some quirks, and this is just one of them - but, I do love her despite these anyway.

Now, she has no credit cards of her own - we have joint cards and I have access to everything. We have two banks - with a checking and savings account at each. Our paychecks go into the bank checking account were we have our mortgage. From this main checking account, money is automatically transferred to the other banks checking and savings account. The second banks checking account is the food money - and this is what my wife uses for that. The savings account is for two purposes - first, we have money that comes out of this account and is automatically invested once per month. The second purpose, is I save money for car and house maintenance items that do not on a monthly basis. The main checking, were the paychecks go into - is used to pay mortgage, utilities, cell phones, cable, house alarm system plus any eating out that we do on credit cards, clothes purchases, and entertainment type activity Money is also transferred from the main checking at bank #1 in the savings account there - this is where I put the money that covers all car and home insurance plus college expenses for my kids. This savings is also where I keep six months worth of living expenses - so this account is the one with a high balance.

May sound complicated, but I have it down to a science. I keep a manual ledger that keeps up with the balance for all of these accounts. I also have an excel spreadsheet where I track every dollar charged on credit cards - I know how much we have to spend in the main checking account each month and make sure all of us keep it within the budget.
 
#43 ·
I should add, I can definitely understand the trust issues some have with having separate accounts, especially based on some of the horror stories I have read here. It has never been an issue for my W or I, and I have never tried to hide any accounts from her. I actually put together a list of all our accounts just in case something did happen to me she knew where everything is. Also going to meet with a lawyer in the next few weeks to set up a living trust / will.
 
#46 ·
This is a great idea Ellis. I did this a few weeks ago because a young lady we know is dying and her parents have no idea where anything is. She is in a coma and they are running around trying to figure out where she keeps her money and what to do with her house etc.

I made a list of all our accounts with passwords and person to speak to. I also, downloaded a change of beneficiary and a change of account name info for my DD and H to do incase I die. I left detailed information on CCards and life insurance policies and investment account and 401k. I made a copy of the deeds for the houses and a copy of the wills and trust.

I also, gave my BF a copy of everything I gave my DD because she is one of my executor and trustee of my kids trust. This way everyone knows where everything is. So, if I die, they will know exactly where to go and what to do. They don't have to second guess anything.

Now my H has to follow my plan and don't marry a woman before everything is taken care of and died and she gets everything. :grin2:
 
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