Jealous and Controlling Wife
Hello everyone. I was searching on google and came across your community. Everyone here seems to have great ideas and are very supportive of one another. I just wanted to find someone to talk about my situation to, and see if there is any advice.
I married my wife just over a year ago and we have been dating for almost 4 years. Things were going well for most of our relationship but since we have been married there has been a progressive change in her behavior.
1. She has a big time jealousy problem. Every time I meet a female, maybe at work or in some sort of situation she becomes very jealous. If I add a coworker on facebook, or talk about my day and a female coworker comes up in conversation she goes into what I call "investigation mode". She will start interrogating me with questions like "who is she, how old is she, is she married, does she have a boyfriend, do you think she is pretty, does she like you, do you like her". On the surface these questions may seem quite normal, but the tone in which she says them and how she strings them together, you can tell she is jealous. Every time I am doing something online, or on my phone when she is around she is constantly hanging over my shoulder, trying to see what I'm doing, who I'm talking to ect ect. Now I have no problem with my wife knowing who I talk to or what I am doing, but I would like to be open about it, not feel like I am under constant suspicion. Because I have never done anything to warrant any sort of suspicion. I have asked her before if there was some sort of behavior I exhibit or something that I have done that makes her suspicious that I am going to cheat and she assures me there is not. So I have no idea how to handle this. It is starting to stress me out. I feel like I have to hide things from her like certain situations at work, or who I interact with on the internet for fear of being interrogated.
2. She is very controlling all of the sudden. When we were dating, she had no problem with me hanging out with the guys, playing some video games or just relaxing and doing my own things. But now it is like I have to spend every single second possible that I can giving her attention. She does not wan't me to do anything that is just for me. If I want to watch sports she gets upset, if I want to just go see a buddy for a couple of hours and talk over a few beers she gets anxious and sad. If I want to fire up the xbox for a little bit she gets annoyed. I love my wife and I love doing things with her. However, there are just days where there is not much to do, or days I feel like watching the game or seeing a bud. It's not like I am asking to go out to the bar every Friday night and get trashed and stay out until 5 in the morning. I just would like the chance to go see my buddies over a couple of beers without her getting all upset and depressed about it. She gets all worried about me doing things like drinking, hanging out with my friends ect. I have not been drunk in over 4 years and she knows this. I am extremely responsible but she treats every situation of me going somewhere without her as if I am going to go get trashed and end up in a hotel room with a girl. She constantly monitors and critiques my behavior. I want to have an open relationship and talk with her but I am getting so tired I have slipped into the trap of concealing things from her because it is easier that way. I know that is wrong but what should I do?