10-24-2011, 01:13 PM
Join Date: Oct 2011
| | Partner is a slob and never cleans
After spending hours on goolge and trying to find some advice on what to do, I finally stumbled upon this forum. We've been living together for two years now and have marriage plans and want to start a family together.
However, from day one that we moved in together, I noticed one thing that could become a problem, and now two years later it did. His mother spoiled him by always cleaning his room, doing laundery and basically he didn't have to clean anything himself. Even before I moved in he would only vaccuum the floor when he found it too dangerous to walk barefoot and pick up his clothes when he could no longer see the floor.
In the beginning we shared a small room together and cleaning up after him was no biggie since it was so small. However, we've moved to a bigger house last year and now I'm really starting to notice the problems piling up, literarly, around the sink, the floor, the couch etc.
I asked him, commanded him, begged him and even cried to have him help me clean up the house or even part of the mess like doing the dishes or anything. He did once but I told him the plates weren't clean enough (and believe me when there are pieces of egg yolk stuck to a white plate, it's not clean enough) but in his opinion he thought it was and he now says that even if he were to clean I'd have to do it all over again since he doesn't do it well enough.
Now I love this man to bits. In every other aspect he is wonderful, but this is really killing me! What will happen when I'm pregnant and can no longer bend down to pick up his mess? Or when we have children? For the record, he doesn't work, has less classes to attend at uni than me and still doesn't clean. It doesn't even enter his head.
Please don't say withhold sex or stuff like that, I'm against such things. I'm just wondering if I'm fooling myself that he will change? I'd do nearly anything for him if it didn't conflict with my believes and morals, just to please him, but he can't even muster up the willpower to help me clean? Please someone help I'm at my last strand here.