I never felt so much distance between my wife and I, we're basically roommates now...
She responds more to emotional intimacy, whereas, I respond more to physical intimacy. Besides that, there has also been other things that have definitely not helped our marriage;
a) from sleeping in separate rooms because I snore and she's a light sleeper.
b) I want to have kids but she always breaks down crying and apologizes that she's not like most girls / her friends that were all very eager to have kids, and she just doesn't know why she doesn't have that same urge.
c) the last couple times we did try to have sex, it did not seem like she was into it because it was like the Sahara desert down there.
Maybe there is something wrong with me but I need that physical connection to feel that emotional connection. I've tried to explain it to her before; I tell her it's not just about the sex for me, if it was I would have cheated on her years ago. I like it when she gets off and she's into just as much as I'm into; that connection is what makes me feel loved and in return makes me feel emotionally connected with her and it brings out all the lovey-dovey things I like to do for her and I know she loves too.
We've been down the road where she has told me that she responds to me; so the more emotional affection I giver the more sexually intimate she wants to be. She has said that before, but saying and actually happening are two different things; so in the end she gets fulfilled emotionally and I still end of feeling distant. And it just compounds when the times we do try to be sexual, she's like the Sahara desert; it's embarrassing and just makes me feel like not making any advances towards her anymore.
It's just really hard for me to be super affectionate with her due to all the reasons listed above, and I don't do a good job trying to fake it. It's just hard to be this perfect husband to her when I'm not happy or excited to do these things for her when my needs go unnoticed.
We have been to a therapist before and it really didn't change anything. We no longer fight and she never cries anymore, but I think we both know that we are not happy. Things are just not how they use to be before, and it feels at this point we make better friends than lovers. We don't kiss, we don't touch...it just got to the point where it just feels awkward now.
I don't want to take the "divorce" route but I also don't want to just feel like we are "stuck in time"; we are not moving forward with a family because for some reason she doesn't have strong feelings of having a baby. I just don't know what else can be done at this point; I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over.
She responds more to emotional intimacy, whereas, I respond more to physical intimacy. Besides that, there has also been other things that have definitely not helped our marriage;
a) from sleeping in separate rooms because I snore and she's a light sleeper.
b) I want to have kids but she always breaks down crying and apologizes that she's not like most girls / her friends that were all very eager to have kids, and she just doesn't know why she doesn't have that same urge.
c) the last couple times we did try to have sex, it did not seem like she was into it because it was like the Sahara desert down there.
Maybe there is something wrong with me but I need that physical connection to feel that emotional connection. I've tried to explain it to her before; I tell her it's not just about the sex for me, if it was I would have cheated on her years ago. I like it when she gets off and she's into just as much as I'm into; that connection is what makes me feel loved and in return makes me feel emotionally connected with her and it brings out all the lovey-dovey things I like to do for her and I know she loves too.
We've been down the road where she has told me that she responds to me; so the more emotional affection I giver the more sexually intimate she wants to be. She has said that before, but saying and actually happening are two different things; so in the end she gets fulfilled emotionally and I still end of feeling distant. And it just compounds when the times we do try to be sexual, she's like the Sahara desert; it's embarrassing and just makes me feel like not making any advances towards her anymore.
It's just really hard for me to be super affectionate with her due to all the reasons listed above, and I don't do a good job trying to fake it. It's just hard to be this perfect husband to her when I'm not happy or excited to do these things for her when my needs go unnoticed.
We have been to a therapist before and it really didn't change anything. We no longer fight and she never cries anymore, but I think we both know that we are not happy. Things are just not how they use to be before, and it feels at this point we make better friends than lovers. We don't kiss, we don't touch...it just got to the point where it just feels awkward now.
I don't want to take the "divorce" route but I also don't want to just feel like we are "stuck in time"; we are not moving forward with a family because for some reason she doesn't have strong feelings of having a baby. I just don't know what else can be done at this point; I'm tired of having the same conversation over and over.