No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

I just guess I am venting. I have been cheated on over and over by my Woman of over 2 years. It is all Text/email/phone calls. It is everything from "how was your day" to full on XXX rated talk. She has done this with primarily with her ex-husband and some other guys here and there. She just doesn't think it is cheating in the same sense as if she had sex with another man.

Well, to me it is! It hurts just as bad. It is the sharing of private stuff and boyfriend type talk that should be reserved for only me.
I do not want to spend my life monitoring her phone and email accounts. This has come up with another girlfriend from 2011 as well, who did not understand it was cheating and it was wrong.

So, maybe it's me. Call me old fashioned. Whatever. If yo are doing any of this stop it! it is not right and it hurts.

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post #2 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:18 PM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

end it now. Buh-bye.
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post #3 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:19 PM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

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Originally Posted by jdesey View Post
I just guess I am venting. I have been cheated on over and over by my Woman of over 2 years. It is all Text/email/phone calls. It is everything from "how was your day" to full on XXX rated talk. She has done this with primarily with her ex-husband and some other guys here and there. She just doesn't think it is cheating in the same sense as if she had sex with another man.

Well, to me it is! It hurts just as bad. It is the sharing of private stuff and boyfriend type talk that should be reserved for only me.
I do not want to spend my life monitoring her phone and email accounts. This has come up with another girlfriend from 2011 as well, who did not understand it was cheating and it was wrong.

So, maybe it's me. Call me old fashioned. Whatever. If yo are doing any of this stop it! it is not right and it hurts.
Then don't.

"Let's never stop having sex. We're so good at it, we OWE it to sex to never stop having it."
-My wife
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post #4 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:23 PM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

Seriously...HOW MANY TIMES has everyone here told you keep her the hell out of your life?? My god, man.....

Yes, what she does is cheating. Period.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.


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post #5 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:24 PM Thread Starter
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

done that. I am just floored that there are people who do not think of this as cheating. I read a few articles yesterday and it seems like there is a split between those that think of it as cheating and those that do not. Some sexting fiascos have involved politicians and even ended some careers. To me cheating is defined as "if you got to hide it, then it is cheating" plain and simple. I also feel that there should be no opposite sex friendships ESPECIALLY with an ex. It is just trouble and it is wrong. I certainly do not have a friendship with my ex-wife. We are cordial, but we do not act like friends. talk is of the kids and nothing else. And we try to avoid as much communication as possible.

I guess I should ask women what their opinion is on this within the first couple of dates. To see where they stand on these issues.
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post #6 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:27 PM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

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done that. I am just floored that there are people who do not think of this as cheating. I read a few articles yesterday and it seems like there is a split between those that think of it as cheating and those that do not. Some sexting fiascos have involved politicians and even ended some careers. To me cheating is defined as "if you got to hide it, then it is cheating" plain and simple. I also feel that there should be no opposite sex friendships ESPECIALLY with an ex. It is just trouble and it is wrong. I certainly do not have a friendship with my ex-wife. We are cordial, but we do not act like friends. talk is of the kids and nothing else. And we try to avoid as much communication as possible.

I guess I should ask women what their opinion is on this within the first couple of dates. To see where they stand on these issues.
Some will surely agree with you, but also be prepared for the whole "controlling" shaming to be thrown out there too.

"Let's never stop having sex. We're so good at it, we OWE it to sex to never stop having it."
-My wife
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post #7 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:35 PM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

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I guess I should ask women what their opinion is on this within the first couple of dates. To see where they stand on these issues.
I think, given that you've been on-again-off-again numerous times with your girlfriend despite her obvious cheating and have only been no-contact with her for a few (is it 3 now?) weeks, you need to not be dating at all. Your picker is broken. Get some help fixing it before you start dating again. Otherwise, you're pretty likely to end up with another relationship that's just as much of a train wreck as your previous one(s).
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post #8 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:43 PM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

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done that. I am just floored that there are people who do not think of this as cheating. I read a few articles yesterday and it seems like there is a split between those that think of it as cheating and those that do not. Some sexting fiascos have involved politicians and even ended some careers. To me cheating is defined as "if you got to hide it, then it is cheating" plain and simple. I also feel that there should be no opposite sex friendships ESPECIALLY with an ex. It is just trouble and it is wrong. I certainly do not have a friendship with my ex-wife. We are cordial, but we do not act like friends. talk is of the kids and nothing else. And we try to avoid as much communication as possible.

I guess I should ask women what their opinion is on this within the first couple of dates. To see where they stand on these issues.
You find yourself a woman of such character that you don't have ask.
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post #9 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 02:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

Rowan you are right. Time to work on myself. My picker is bad. of the 3 girlfriends I have had in 5 years, 2 of them did this kind of cheating on me and acted like there was nothing wrong with it.
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post #10 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-23-2016, 04:58 PM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

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Time to work on myself.
Print this off and put it on your bathroom mirror so that you see it every day and DON'T FORGET IT.


People don't get a free pass to cheat just because their marriage sucks.


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post #11 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-24-2016, 12:34 AM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

I think you're drawn to drama. If the woman isn't providing it, you are.
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post #12 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-24-2016, 12:40 AM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

Find a new girl who doesn't like phones and technology. Truly they are out there.
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post #13 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-24-2016, 05:34 AM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

Buddy, you do not need advice. You know what the outcome is going to be. There are two choices

(1) you tolerate her online flirtations with other men
(2) you end the relationship

Should you choose the first option, the odds are pretty good that eventually one of these dirty talk sessions is going to wind up with them in bed together, so you will be in CIA mode for a long time, so get good at it.

She has already told you she is not going to stop because she thinks do there is nothing wrong with it. There is a mind set among SOME , not most, women, that overt sexual flirting is just right clean "girl fun". This same mind set usually is those that also think it is OK to go to bars constantly without you and spend the night acting like they are on Spring Break while you sit at home. I would not be surprised if your partner does not have some girlfriend telling her how right she is.

A two year old should understand someone in an exclusive, committed relationship does not sext or have sexual conversations with other men.

There are plenty of women out there who do not share her attitude. Go find one.
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post #14 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-24-2016, 12:13 PM Thread Starter
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

so right on all accounts...


for sure. I got this lame ass apology yesterday, and she immediately turned it on me and pointed out all of my errors. There is no real remorse, therefore she will do it again and again. I have made alot of mistakes, but it does not justify cheating.
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post #15 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-24-2016, 12:38 PM
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Re: No Sex Cheating hurts just as much..text/email/phone

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done that. I am just floored that there are people who do not think of this as cheating. I read a few articles yesterday and it seems like there is a split between those that think of it as cheating and those that do not. Some sexting fiascos have involved politicians and even ended some careers. To me cheating is defined as "if you got to hide it, then it is cheating" plain and simple. I also feel that there should be no opposite sex friendships ESPECIALLY with an ex. It is just trouble and it is wrong. I certainly do not have a friendship with my ex-wife. We are cordial, but we do not act like friends. talk is of the kids and nothing else. And we try to avoid as much communication as possible.

I guess I should ask women what their opinion is on this within the first couple of dates. To see where they stand on these issues.

Let me guess, those who are cheating in this way, don't think it's cheating, and those who are betrayed, think it is cheating? lol Probably the case. I think it's cheating, and I would end it asap. I've been cheated on in that way before, and it took me a while to end it, ashamed to admit. I bought his excuses at the time, but no more. I would never let that happen again, and hopefully, you won't either. Stay strong.

Always trust your instincts.
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