Hi there, long time lurker first time poster.
I've been reading the forums for a while to find help as my marriage has slowly unraveled over the past couple years and with issues over the years prior.
My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have 2.5 year old twins. She has always been a bit tough in that she wants things done her way which has lead to financial issues and a lot of extra stress, but after a few years it just becomes something you learn to work with together, right?
With the kids came a lot of extra stress(naturally, because kids are crazy), and after a while wife has been pulling back on responsibilities and is only involved when absolutely necessary. She's better with the kids because she's present most of the time with them but even then she's on her phone more often than not. Even then she usually claims she's overwhelmed, tired, upset, depressed, anxious, or stressed and needs a break, which means I take the kids on while she naps for 3 hours.
Outside of being with the kids she's flat out avoiding any household chore, usually avoids work(currently on unemployment but takes on small jobs from time to time), and shrugs off most self care activities like taking her anti-depressants or even bathing. I usually have to force her to bathe at least once a week. Concerning finances, she'll spend what she wants when she wants. If she asks me for a budget for groceries she's break that budget and act like I'm the bad guy for being upset she just spent money I needed to pay bills.
I've helped her through bouts of depression in the past, and I try to be a good dad and husband in general but I'm noticing I'm starting to get pretty apathetic when she has her troubles now. She talks about divorce sometimes, and other times she talks of suicide but claims she'd never because she loves the kids too much. I'm losing the ability to care when it's not life or death with her. Right now I'm skipping work for the day so I can watch her and make sure she takes her pills, takes a bath, and then I take her outside to walk.
I don't want to go for a divorce, so I'm hoping someone on here can point me in a better direction than the one I'm headed in. I just feel... hopeless.
I've been reading the forums for a while to find help as my marriage has slowly unraveled over the past couple years and with issues over the years prior.
My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have 2.5 year old twins. She has always been a bit tough in that she wants things done her way which has lead to financial issues and a lot of extra stress, but after a few years it just becomes something you learn to work with together, right?
With the kids came a lot of extra stress(naturally, because kids are crazy), and after a while wife has been pulling back on responsibilities and is only involved when absolutely necessary. She's better with the kids because she's present most of the time with them but even then she's on her phone more often than not. Even then she usually claims she's overwhelmed, tired, upset, depressed, anxious, or stressed and needs a break, which means I take the kids on while she naps for 3 hours.
Outside of being with the kids she's flat out avoiding any household chore, usually avoids work(currently on unemployment but takes on small jobs from time to time), and shrugs off most self care activities like taking her anti-depressants or even bathing. I usually have to force her to bathe at least once a week. Concerning finances, she'll spend what she wants when she wants. If she asks me for a budget for groceries she's break that budget and act like I'm the bad guy for being upset she just spent money I needed to pay bills.
I've helped her through bouts of depression in the past, and I try to be a good dad and husband in general but I'm noticing I'm starting to get pretty apathetic when she has her troubles now. She talks about divorce sometimes, and other times she talks of suicide but claims she'd never because she loves the kids too much. I'm losing the ability to care when it's not life or death with her. Right now I'm skipping work for the day so I can watch her and make sure she takes her pills, takes a bath, and then I take her outside to walk.
I don't want to go for a divorce, so I'm hoping someone on here can point me in a better direction than the one I'm headed in. I just feel... hopeless.