I've been with my wife for 15 years now and married for 12. We are both 40 years old and have one son who is 8 years old. Before our son was born our relationship was great. We had an awesome sex life and we went out and did things that couples would do.
Fast forward a few years and now that we've had our son my wife is pretty much ONLY a mother now and NOT a wife. We haven't gone out on a date in 2 years now. Sex hardly ever happens as I'm turned down most of the time. She used to give great oral sex and now I have to beg for it and I'm lucky if I get it 2-3 times a year with a max of 2 minutes before she's done.
She never wants to do anything and we've become mostly just roommates. I have an extremely high sex drive and I'm also in great shape. I have a great job (as does she) and we make a lot of money. We had major financial troubles a few years back but that's behind us and money is no longer an issue or stressor. I've been vocal about how I feel and how important sex is to me and she just doesn't seem to care. Things "sometimes" will get better for a week at the most but then go back to this rut. She's unwilling to go on a vacation or even a date for that matter. She never wants to look nice and when I ask her to wear makeup she gets all pissed off saying I'm trying to change her. Before we were married she wore makeup for me all the time and it was never an issue but now she won't.
Fast forward to the past 2 years and our relationship just keeps getting worse. I resent being around her and not even sure if I even love her anymore. We don't have any connections and she's unwilling to care about what's important to me. (not just sex) She always complains that she doesn't feel good every single day for the past 5 years. Now, she is sick with possible Lyme Disease so we haven't had sex in over a month. I understand how she feels and I'm sympathetic to it but I'm just so miserable in this relationship and this is not how I want to spend the rest of my life.
I know I'm coming off as VERY selfish and I expect criticism about that but if I'm unhappy with my relationship and I've done everything I can to change things why should I not be selfish any longer? She's unwilling to go to councelling of any sort. Last year I actually went by myself and every bit of advice they gave me to try I did and they all failed. She just gave me a batch of **** saying is this what your crazy dr. told you to do. It just seems like a vicious cycle that will never improve esp. now with the potential Lyme Disease. I hate to leave her if she's really sick like this but I also can't get sucked into the misery that I'm stuck in much longer with no end in site.
Any advice???
Fast forward a few years and now that we've had our son my wife is pretty much ONLY a mother now and NOT a wife. We haven't gone out on a date in 2 years now. Sex hardly ever happens as I'm turned down most of the time. She used to give great oral sex and now I have to beg for it and I'm lucky if I get it 2-3 times a year with a max of 2 minutes before she's done.
She never wants to do anything and we've become mostly just roommates. I have an extremely high sex drive and I'm also in great shape. I have a great job (as does she) and we make a lot of money. We had major financial troubles a few years back but that's behind us and money is no longer an issue or stressor. I've been vocal about how I feel and how important sex is to me and she just doesn't seem to care. Things "sometimes" will get better for a week at the most but then go back to this rut. She's unwilling to go on a vacation or even a date for that matter. She never wants to look nice and when I ask her to wear makeup she gets all pissed off saying I'm trying to change her. Before we were married she wore makeup for me all the time and it was never an issue but now she won't.
Fast forward to the past 2 years and our relationship just keeps getting worse. I resent being around her and not even sure if I even love her anymore. We don't have any connections and she's unwilling to care about what's important to me. (not just sex) She always complains that she doesn't feel good every single day for the past 5 years. Now, she is sick with possible Lyme Disease so we haven't had sex in over a month. I understand how she feels and I'm sympathetic to it but I'm just so miserable in this relationship and this is not how I want to spend the rest of my life.
I know I'm coming off as VERY selfish and I expect criticism about that but if I'm unhappy with my relationship and I've done everything I can to change things why should I not be selfish any longer? She's unwilling to go to councelling of any sort. Last year I actually went by myself and every bit of advice they gave me to try I did and they all failed. She just gave me a batch of **** saying is this what your crazy dr. told you to do. It just seems like a vicious cycle that will never improve esp. now with the potential Lyme Disease. I hate to leave her if she's really sick like this but I also can't get sucked into the misery that I'm stuck in much longer with no end in site.
Any advice???