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Old 11-09-2011, 01:28 PM   #91 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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Directions?
Just follow your hard on.
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:28 PM   #92 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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He's not logged in. There must be a porn convention going down in Amsterdam.
He may be writing about it in his blog. Or maybe he is doing one of his interviews with a porn star. Watching it with the Mrs would be my guess. He is to busy.
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:29 PM   #93 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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I think it has a lot to do with how we are conditioned as children about sex. As someone else pointed out, adolescent males are shamed by their mothers into hiding their porn. Heck, they hide it even when their mothers don't shame them - my boys have never been shamed about it yet they still hide it. Since they were small, if they wanted to play with themselves I would simply tell them that they needed to do so in private because it's a private thing. Obviously we don't want to bring up our boys to whip out their penises whenever they feel like it and whack off - it has to be something they do in private, but it doesn't need to be shameful.

Anyway, it isn't acceptable for guys or girls to masturbate in public, hence the feeling that it has to be done in private, therefore when a couple first get together there is more often than not an awkwardness surrounding talking about sex or doing anything with each other that may be construed as 'kinky', until they know each other better. Sex talk is not something people just do whenever they feel like it or with just anyone. So how can we expect either guys or girls to be able to just talk about it with their spouses? Parents don't raise their children with this expectation, because parents generally don't talk to their kids about sex other than the mechanics of it, use a condom, be careful, do it with someone you love, there you go. It's something we each have to come in to our own about.

So when a guy (or a girl) realizes he/she is horny and there's no one else around, and they take care of themselves, they're left with a feeling that they've done something wrong. How wrong they think it is will depend on their upbringing and other things. A guy who uses an opportunity to masturbate to computer porn is going to feel some degree of guilt. Whether he can talk to his wife about what he does will depend on many factors, and we can't say there is one blanket reason for it if he doesn't talk to her and takes it underground. It may be that his wife is a prude. It may be that his mother shamed him so much he feels way too guilty. It's going to be different for every couple.
Again, not all of us think that the masturbation part is wrong or anything to feel guilty about.
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:29 PM   #94 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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To me this sounds like YOU have a forceful sex drive, because you are the man, and that you NEED to masturbate when not having sex, because having a hard "p$nis" attached to your body couldn't possibly be any different than having a ripe "vajay".

I have never been able to figure out why men think they have the upper hand when it comes to sexual frequency, need and drive.

I have more of a drive than my husband - so does this give me the right to become a porn hound?

If your spouse is on-board, then great.

If not, then respect him/her and their feelings on the subject. Bottom line.

SEX is NOT MANDATORY - you do not need it to LIVE.

Self-control people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Self control? Really?

And if a spouse is on board for sex, "then great" but, if not, one person has to be left out in the cold? Really?

Just as easily that could be turned around to say that if one doesn't want sex but that the partner does then the partner should be accomodating each and every time.

While admittedly hedonistic in my desires, as far as I know, I only get one ride on this carousel known as life and nothing brings me more pleasure than sex and I want it as much as possible and have remained faithful to my wife for the entire time we have been together and she knew my sexual appetite when she married me. So, for me to masturbate on occasion should not be a big deal and I see no need for "self control" in this area.

Would you also preach self control to those struggling with their weight and tell them to not eat more than 1,500 calories a day and exercise daily until they were no longer classified as obese? If you preach self control, I hope it is in other areas, as well.
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:30 PM   #95 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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Let's assume for a minute you had a less than average size penis and you stumbled upon your wife's internet history showing a significant amount of porn where it was clear the focus was on extra large sized men ...

Would you still feel like 'awesome! she masturbates to porn!' or would there be any self-doubt going on there that maybe you were not 'enough' for her?
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:30 PM   #96 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

I enjoy following it but it doesn't have GPS.
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:31 PM   #97 (permalink)
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He may be writing about it in his blog. Or maybe he is doing one of his interviews with a porn star. Watching it with the Mrs would be my guess. He is to busy.
Ever read some of his writing? Pretty good stuff until the very end when it was about as sexy as a bucket of ice water down my pants.

Love ya Ian. Talented writer but ease up on the literal wording.
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:32 PM   #98 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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I enjoy following it but it doesn't have GPS.
Then use it like you would a water finding stick.
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:34 PM   #99 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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And you mine...keep it coming, you sound more and more like Al Bundy with every post!
Ya but Al Bundy hated having sex with Peg
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:36 PM   #100 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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Ever read some of his writing? Pretty good stuff until the very end when it was about as sexy as a bucket of ice water down my pants.

Love ya Ian. Talented writer but ease up on the literal wording.

Yes, I have read some of his blogs.
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:42 PM   #101 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

I guess we know how all the defenders spend most of their time...!
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:47 PM   #102 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

I have only been kidding, but I do think that this issue is commonly overblown by women. With that said, porn can be a problem when it becomes a distraction in the relationship to avoid other problems, and not because that chick on the video is better-looking and kinkier than you are.
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:54 PM   #103 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

See this is the problem.

There`s lots of harassment going on here from the anti-porn crowd but little to no real discussion.

Numerous valid points have been made in this thread and each is mostly being ignored in preference to personal attacks.

-Women have body issues due to our western cultures emphasis on unobtainable physical "perfection".
These issues cause an irrational dogmatic aversion to porn.

-Men have issues with hiding the fact that they are visually stimulated due to our western cultures taboo on porn.
These issues cause shame and secretiveness about mens porn use.

-Both of these issues can be overcome by understanding and communication.

Brighteyes brought up a great question earlier.

What do you do about these stigmas men and women have concerning their bodies and sexuality?

Anyone want to have a go at that question?

Does anyone want to have a "real" conversation about these issues are should me just keep piling on the personal attacks?
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:58 PM   #104 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

Nah, I finally got bored, <YAWN> but have fun!

I will probably read more on the thread tonight before bed. Good reading material.
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Old 11-09-2011, 02:03 PM   #105 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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Originally Posted by tacoma View Post
See this is the problem.

There`s lots of harassment going on here from the anti-porn crowd but little to no real discussion.

Numerous valid points have been made in this thread and each is mostly being ignored in preference to personal attacks.

-Women have body issues due to our western cultures emphasis on unobtainable physical "perfection".
These issues cause an irrational dogmatic aversion to porn.

-Men have issues with hiding the fact that they are visually stimulated due to our western cultures taboo on porn.
These issues cause shame and secretiveness about mens porn use.

-Both of these issues can be overcome by understanding and communication.

Brighteyes brought up a great question earlier.

What do you do about these stigmas men and women have concerning their bodies and sexuality?

Anyone want to have a go at that question?

Does anyone want to have a "real" conversation about these issues are should me just keep piling on the personal attacks?
This forum has had oodles of "real" discussions. I mean one porn thread lasted 49 pages until it was locked. There is little point to having another round at it so at this point, I just prefer to see the humor in all of it.
The only porn thread that would shock my nipples in to submission at this point would be a husband coming in with a title of "I respect my wife too much to hurt her with porn". Other than that, it's been done including an entire thread that asked what your porn name would be if you had to take your first pet and the name of the street you grew up on.

Signed, Peaches Capri.
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