Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???
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Old 11-09-2011, 12:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

While I am still fortunate enough to have more sex with my DW, despite an imperfect marriage, than I masturbate to porn, I don't see what the big deal is about porn and why it should upset my DW or any other married women out there providing there is still regular intimacy in the marriage.

My #1 choice is ALWAYS to have sex with my wife but if we don't have sex, well, then why shouldn't I take matters into my own hands and that way I can let her sleep rather than expecting her to meet my needs which only leads to drama if she is too tired or not in the mood.

At least in my case, I can say that my DW knew that I occasionally watched internet porn when we first got together and we have even watched it together on occasion, although it does little for us as a couple.

I don't own a single porn magazine, not even a Playboy (although I have been to a couple Playboy Mansion parties during our marriage, solo, for events I covered as part of the media) and I don't spend a penny on any subscriptions to porn sites. But, there are a couple free sites out there that give anyone as much cannon fodder as they'd ever require and I am not opposed to logging in a couple times a week to handle my business.

Yet, even if my DW was not planning on having intimacy with me, then she gets somewhat upset...not to the degree that many wives on here seem to get with their husbands, more annoyed, I guess, but I am all hers when she can keep up.

If I could not keep up with my DW's sex drive, I seriously doubt that I would be upset if she masturbated, even if it was to porn. I believe I have a duty to sexually satisfy her and, likewise, she has the same duty and when she does not keep up, well, then, what is wrong with a little stress relief?
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Old 11-09-2011, 01:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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I think, a lot of the time, the issue is more with the lies and deception that some men practice around this than with the porn itself.
But the lies and deception are directly caused by the irrational emotional reaction many women have to porn.

These wives are in effect causing their own problems.

It`s a viscous cycle usually begun by the wife.
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Old 11-09-2011, 02:13 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

I am one of those wives who have an issue with porn. Yet i used to watch alot of porn myself.

My issue is that the husband had turned me down more then once, lying that he was tired even though i know the real reason is because he was masturbating while i was in the shower. He often tells me that whenever i am horny that to let him know. Yet when i did, i got turned down. He also told me that he'd love for me to wake him up by giving him a BJ and such yet how can i when i don't know if he already did his thing or not. It would just probably piss him off that i woke him up because i needed sex.

I am a wife who is always willing to satisfy him anyway he wants. I consider myself to be more open when it comes to sex as i always wanted to try more kinky stuff. He is the routine boring sex kinda guy. I have offered that maybe we can watch porn together to spice things up (i used to do this with the ex) but he refuses saying porn is ment to be enjoyed alone.

Many guys out there complain that their wife would not do this or do that or is disinterested in sex. Yet here i am willing to do anything and everything and i come in second to his masturbating.

I don't know about you but i think this is a problem.

How would the husband feels if the wife rather watch porn and masturbate then have actual sex? I'm thinking i should just do what he does, watch porn and rely on my trusty dildos instead of bothering him and his porn time. But ofcorse then he'd complain that he's not getting enough sex. It's always what he needs and wants, never does he care about my needs and feelings.
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Old 11-09-2011, 05:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

only people with narrow mind have problem with porn. You make love to the one you are in love with, you are not making love to the picture. Nothing wrong to admit that nature has created some beauty, not just in landscape, but in human bodies as well.
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Old 11-09-2011, 07:08 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

My wife asked me last week what I thought 'kinky' meant or what were some kinky things. I was a bit lost on word since I know what would be kinky for me might be commonplace for some and immoral for others (which, might actually make it hotter for me : ).

Porn fits exactly into this paradigm.
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Old 11-09-2011, 07:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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But the lies and deception are directly caused by the irrational emotional reaction many women have to porn.

These wives are in effect causing their own problems.

It`s a viscous cycle usually begun by the wife.
I'm not sure about this. If my H had been upfront about his porn use, instead of sneaking/lying we might have had a rocking great time in bed instead of 3 months of MC.

The vicious cycle is really the wives thinking that if he's lying about this...then what else?

My H and many others I'm sure, had this idea that it would be better to keep these types of things from me than to upset me with the truth. Big mistake on his part!
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Old 11-09-2011, 08:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

Funny you say "seriously doubt" you'd have a problem with your W masturbating to porn. Which is it? I am curious. You could care less or you would have a problem with it? And I'm with the other posters in that it's the lies, sneaking, etc. For my H, it didn't stop with JUST looking at porn online. Those little pop-ups can be intriguing at times of horniness, "click here for no strings attached live fun", or whatever the little advertisements are on those sites. So it's not the naked women or men having sex, it's that some men don't know when to stop at that. Just my opinion and experience in my own M.
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Old 11-09-2011, 08:20 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Funny you say "seriously doubt" you'd have a problem with your W masturbating to porn. Which is it? I am curious. You could care less or you would have a problem with it? And I'm with the other posters in that it's the lies, sneaking, etc. For my H, it didn't stop with JUST looking at porn online. Those little pop-ups can be intriguing at times of horniness, "click here for no strings attached live fun", or whatever the little advertisements are on those sites. So it's not the naked women or men having sex, it's that some men don't know when to stop at that. Just my opinion and experience in my own M.
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Old 11-09-2011, 08:25 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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I think, a lot of the time, the issue is more with the lies and deception that some men practice around this than with the porn itself.
AMEN! That's exacrtly the problem.

Porn...not an issue for me.

Denial and lying about it...a big issue for me.

If it's truly "not that big of a deal" to you guys out there - then why the lying, hiding and deceit about it?
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Old 11-09-2011, 08:26 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

Those pop up ads are evil but are dead ends for any guy looking for extramarital activity but see how they could be perceived as a threat by wives who may actually give any credibility to those pop up ads.

As far as your question about my DW masturbating...I wish she would! Lol. Also, I wish she would allow me to bring her to more than a single orgasm per session. I am a cunning linguist as well as a master cunnilinguist and I would gladly perform morning, noon and night, if given the stage to perform. :P
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Old 11-09-2011, 08:26 AM   #11 (permalink)
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AMEN! That's exacrtly the problem.

Porn...not an issue for me.

Denial and lying about it...a big issue for me.

If it's truly "not that big of a deal" to you guys out there - then why the lying, hiding and deceit about it?
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Old 11-09-2011, 08:27 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

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But the lies and deception are directly caused by the irrational emotional reaction many women have to porn.

These wives are in effect causing their own problems.

It`s a viscous cycle usually begun by the wife.
So what you're saying is...you HAVE to LIE and HIDE your porn because I can't have a rational reaction to it without my emotions getting in the way?

So you are judge and jury based on your own perceptions about what my "behavior" might be, versus actual fact that you might see a positive response if you actually TOLD THE TRUTH ABOUT IT.

You guys are really good at putting that "ole' male spin" on things that you want to justify, aren't ya?
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Old 11-09-2011, 08:28 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

For the exact reason that Tacoma pointed out earlier...

Trust me, most guys are no better off to admitting they jerked off to porn than they are for denying or hiding it.
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Old 11-09-2011, 08:36 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

I don't know of any guy that never watch porn. I think it's ok to watch porn as long as it's not an obsession. I first watch porn when I was in middle school. I'm still watching them today.

Sometimes I downloaded porn on my phone to play it in front of my wife in public just to see her funny reaction.
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Old 11-09-2011, 08:42 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn...seriously, what's the big deal???

It only became a problem for me when the stbxh was so addicted to porn and tried to re-inact it in the bedroom by smacking me, pulling my hair, trying to make me stick my tongue up his hairy a-hole...f'd up sh*t like that. The sex became very abusive
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