deejov

This must be very hard for you, one day at a time....

the only comment I wanted to offer is with regards to her sense of "mid life crisis" or other events that she may be going through.

From the perspective of a single parent \ woman...
There was a time in my life when I wanted and needed the "shining knight" to save me. And then there came a time when I scoffed at such an idea. A sense of independence, being more than a mom, or wife.

The thought of having someone save you.. can be repulsive if you want to stand on your own two feet, even if you don't know how.

I read that she may want YOU, as a person, probably does care about you, but she certainly does not want you to save her. She doesn't want the knight. She doesn't want you to solve her problems.

You could be her friend here.. and nothing else.

But if she wants a better life for herself, there's no reason why we can't find it together

Maybe to her... together means you are not allowing her to be independent. Let her figure out on her own what's wrong or not.

She doesn't want you to save her.

PainBelow

Thanks, yes it is very hard. After all I've done for her, and raising another man's children, this is how my faith is rewarded. Its very unfair to be a loyal and devoted husband and father and now the woman I love is saying she doesn't want to be with me anymore.

You know, last night I was actually feeling pretty upbeat and positive. I had this feeling like she just needs time to sort out her issues and I felt like I could wait for her... for a while, anyway. But then I think back over all the things that were done and said, and I get the feeling that our relationship really is doomed.

Last night we were having dinner and were talking about my first wife. She asked me if I hated her. I said no. Not anymore. Now all that remains are the good memories of times we shared and loved. Looking at it now, I think she was looking for the hope that peace and happiness between us could happen even though our relationship would be over. She was looking for a positive sign that I wouldn't hate her for all she's done, or is about to do.

She sees an opportunity to escape and be free. A chance that has never come along before. For the first time in her adult life, she has the chance to be her OWN person. Not just living in my shadow. Yes, I paid for just about everything we own, but its only because I was lucky enough to make good money. I've always said that my success is OUR success. But she just doens't see it the same way, and I guess maybe I can't say I blame her.

Yes, I saved her from a bad existence. I saved her and her children. I moved them into a nice house in a nice environment. But that was it. I'm done saving people. Apparently it was a huge mistake that i have no intention of repeating. I think this means if I ever date someone again, if they are beneath my social class, it means we can never be, no matter how wonderful they may seem.