Complimentary temperaments and relationship satisfaction
A light bulb went off for me this morning around all this back and forth with red pill men, how to have a good relationship, etc., and it is this:
For you to have a good relationship, you need to:
1. Know what your core relationship temperments are
2. Recognize what compliments your core relationship temperments
3. Look at your partner to see if they are a good match for you based on what each of you need.
So, what are relationship temperments? These are discussed all over TAM, just not categorized/recognized as such. Temperments include: thinking vs feeling personality type, frequency and meaning of sex, nature of support through difficulties, etc.
There are some long time posters here who have pointed out the same. What I'm wondering is whether the root of relationship troubles is in the mismatch of temperments, when we don't recognize/like/accept either our own temperment and/or our partners, and when we want a temperment that isn't complimentary to our own.
For example, if you want a loving, sensitive woman but you are a cold and distant man, that doesn't sound like the basis for a healthy relationship. But that doesn't seem to stop the woman from wanting to rescue/change/be enough for the man and it doesn't stop the man from taking advantage of/neglecting his sensitive woman because he wants someone like her.
It's when we get into these mismatches and stay, continuing to try to change what is core to ourselves or the other, that we struggle.
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Last edited by Begin again; 09-04-2016 at 07:20 AM.