lilly_pie13

Hello All! I just want to apoligze in advance if I posted this in the wrong spot or am writing something thats been discused a million times on here. I'm new so please forgive me.
I would like to start off telling you about my wedding. After a wonderful day, full of everything I expected, the drinking got havier and the dancing started. I had a hard time eating or drinking because of anixtey. I danced the night away and hardly seen my new husband. When I wanted to see him I could easily find him at the bar. My new husband was SO drunk he was cut off from the bar and making a HUGE embarrassing secne. He was sooo drunk he was yelling at his Father, my Mother, myself and the staff. After we finally got him calmed down we went to our hotel. They gave our room away and ended up driving around twn for awhile looking for a new one. Being in a bad mood already, the hotel just made things WAY worse. He was yelling and screaming at his BIL and myself..He took his ring off and told me to leave over 5 times that night. All because I didnt understand why he was so upset. I said several times who cares about the hotel we can work all that out tomorrow but tonight is out wedding night. When we finally got to our hotel room I refused to sleep in the same bed as him as he said some pretty hurtful things. In the am he gave me a half hearted "sorry". From that night on things havent been what I expected. My head is not in the clouds thinking after we were married things would be magical but I thought we'd have alittle more love towards eachother.
My husband and I fight alot..over his Mother and his family. They say terrible things to me and about me and I never say anything back. If I bring it up to my husband he calls me gulity of things and yells. And i'm not even the one who said anything. He does NOT stand up for me or respect any of my opinions. I know, I had to stand up for myself but i'd like some back up. I would never want him to turn his back on his family but I would also like some help.
The other night, we had a couple of friends over and my husband had some beers. When he drinks he gets very mean and he just doesn't stop. I can walk away from an argument and he stands by himself yelling for a pretty long time. He doesn't drink every day or need to drink but I think theres a problem. I've brought it up and he just ignores me.
I'm not sure where i'm going with this post, I might have just needed a vent. I've brought up to him several times my problems with our relationship and nothing ever seems to get sloved. Hes not even nice to me...Im jsut not sure what to do. We havent even been married for 6 months and our problems are this big already. What do I do? How do I make myself clear to him that I need things to change? If you've been in a similar situition what did you do?
I'm sorry this was SO long and I appericate any feedback given.
Thanks for listening.

lilly_pie13

Also, I must add..Today I am pushed to my limit. My husband has been working alot and recently in our neighbourhood ALOT of bad stuff has been happening espically to our house. He got off work early and ended up going out with this friends and Im usualy okay with this but I told him I am SO lonely & scared being stuck at home all the time(we have a two year old daugher) and its not that I mind being at home Im a Mommy, its my job!! Im just ALWAYS by myself..I dont mind him going out but he said he wouldn't be long..he didnt end up coming home till after 2am and tried to sleep in his car...iin another town. After I said I am scared being alone at our house a night..I'm ust SOOOOOOOOO fustrated..

A Bit Much

It sounds to me like your husband wasn't ready to be married. He acts like a frat boy.

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

My first marriage started off very badly from the day we were married. Actually, it was pretty bad before hand. I was pregnant, so I thought the best thing for us was to get married. My ex h was big into smoking pot. I never in my life smoked it, but he promised several times that he would quit. I especially asked him not to smoke on our wedding night. Soon after we arrived to the reception hall, my ex husband was no where to be seen. In fact he was gone for more then 4 hours. I ate the dinner by myself with my bridesmaids. When he returned, you could clearly see he was smoking big time. His eyes were as red as I ever seen them. He informed me that it was custom for the best man to wisk the groom away for a drink. He was clearly upset that I was angry. I, too, was so mad that I slept in a separate bed. Off to our short honeymoon to the casino(his idea, I do not gamble). We fought the whole way there. When arriving at the hotel, he would leave me for hours. He did this often, later to find out my ex was very unfaithful. We had a horrible marriage. Not only was he unfaithful, he was emotionally and verbally abusive as well. He put me down, called me horrible names. One time I was 8 months pregnant, he made me get out of MY car and left me stranded. He has done some really rotten things to me. I left him after he tried to sleep with one of my really good friends. We were together for only a year. He's gotten worse over the years. He's even more angry as a person then he was 18 years ago. We have one child together and he hates his own child.

The man I'm married to now is complete opposite. My husband now has never raised his voice at me in the last 13 years we been together. He is the kindest, most caring man that walks this planet. We are very much in love with each other and are connected emotionally and physically. I could not imagine my life without him.

If your husband continues to yell and undermine you, you will live a very miserable life. If he has a drinking problem, he needs to seek help before it gets out of hand. Sometimes the verbal abuse leads to physical abuse. My ex h has hit his current wife on a few occasions that I'm aware of. I'm so glad I left when I did. I fully regret marrying him.
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