Re: Girl friend is great but not sure about her son
Corky - It is a very difficult life changing situation you have found yourself in. It all depends on you and your GF on how you want to approach this. Although the ultimate responsibility for the child is on the mother, it is obvious that she either does not have the skills, knowledge and strength for the upbringing of the teenage son.
Either you walk away from this challenge and break off the relationship. Stringing this along until the child moves out of the house, IMHO, is just a cop out. No matter what age the child moves out, he will be part of your GF life forever. If you don't want to deal with him at 15, you will not deal with him at 25, 35, 45... Becoming involved with a single mother is a package deal. There will be issues with mother and son for years to come.
On the otherhand, if you and your GF can come to a decision about a parenting method you both can agree upon both in discipline and becoming involved in his life, can be a very positive life-changing event for this young man. It could very well be he needs a male role model to give him guidance to become a man. Just because he is not your biological child, you certainly can be a positive influence in his life. I would greatly recommend consulting with a child psychologist to find the best approach considering his troubled lifepath right now.
It is not being selfish, but it is a very serious situation you need to soul search and come to a decision.