married but still love my ex
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Old 11-20-2011, 04:40 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy married but still love my ex

Hi I am writing to ask for advice. I went out with someone many years ago and we split up. I am married and have been for a number of years. The problem is I still love my ex. My ex has somehow found out my email address and has been sending me emails. I have not responded to the last two but he has sent me another one. I havent responded to his email as it is the only way to ensure that I do not keep in contact with him. What do you advise I do and what would you advise as to how to get over him? Any advice would be appreciated.
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Old 11-20-2011, 05:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: married but still love my ex

Are you in love with your husband? Were you in love with your husband? I assume you love your husband also?

It's inappropriate for your ex to keep contacting you. You're married now. I assume your ex knows you are married now, yes?

If yes, then your ex is unethical. You split from him before and have moved on. Would you be involved with someone capable of breaking up a marriage? Then you know in the future he does not value marriage.

And if you break up your current marriage, then he knows you dont value marriage either.

But if your impulse gets the better of you, then divorce your husband first. And let him know it's not his fault for the marriage breakup, let him know the real reason why. Dont let your husband suffer; karma is a bit(h, so they say.
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Old 11-20-2011, 05:33 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Oh, if you need help dealing with your ex, tell your husband everything and ask for his help. I am assuming you have a good relationship with your husband, yes?
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Old 11-20-2011, 05:34 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: married but still love my ex

Think about how you might ruin a perfectly good mge., and LIFESTYLE------block your X, do not answer---and as to the love thing---it didn't work them, cuz something wasn't right, and I doubt if that has changed, and your X, is just looking to hook up, and wreck your life, and the lives of all around you.
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Old 11-20-2011, 07:58 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks for your quick responses. I love my husband very much and I was ok till ex emailled me. I have not responded to the last email that he sent me which was last Monday.

Yeah I have told ex that I am very happy and that I am married. I dont want to get together with this guy as I want to have children with my husband. I am wondering if feelings I have are just really memories of what I felt for ex at the time that we were together.
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Old 11-20-2011, 09:54 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: married but still love my ex

Tell your husband that the ex is fishing for you. Tell your husband that you want the ex-gone, and you need his help to do it.

You should write a no contact letter and with your husband send it to the ex. Then give the email password to your husband and have him change it. He can monitor the mail box and send you any important mail. Then let your friends know you've changed email accounts and abandon the old one.

If the ex contacts you - don't respond just turn it over to your husband.
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Old 11-20-2011, 10:21 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: married but still love my ex

You don't love your ex. You love the idea of him. The memory of him.

You probably wouldn't know him now. Words in an email are one thing. Living a life with him is another.

Forget this tool who would try to break up a marriage and go snuggle your husband
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Old 11-20-2011, 10:42 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: married but still love my ex

Block him, if he tries again with a new e-mail block it again. Keep blocking until he gets the message.
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Old 11-20-2011, 11:05 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: married but still love my ex

Reply to the e-mail that you are married, in love with your husband, trying to make a family.

Inform him that having him in your life is just going to make that impossible and you`d appreciate he didn`t contact you again.
Then add his address to your spam filter.

Then show your husband the e-mails and your reply.

If you ex keeps it up tell your husband.
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Old 11-21-2011, 02:40 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Do not reply to ANY E-Mails---block and ignore

If you answer, he might just keep fishing---no answer---he will eventually get the idea, unless he is a complete nincompoop
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Old 11-21-2011, 03:59 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Tell your husband, and show him the emails (all of them). Block the ex. All email programs allow you to do that. And then just forget about it.
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Old 11-21-2011, 11:23 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Tell your husband that the ex emailed you, that you told the ex you're married. Block ex's email.
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Old 11-21-2011, 11:53 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Nothing good will come from talking to your ex who you still carry a torch for.

Mark my words.

Oh and you telling your husband about this guy emailing you will deter you from talking to him.
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Old 11-21-2011, 01:13 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: married but still love my ex

Tell your husband -stat!! And then tell him any and every time this guy even sneezes in your direction. Don't respond to anything he sends you. Block him or not - as long as you tell your H about each and every word this guy sends you you'll be fine, but blocking him allows less opportunity for you to slip up.

This is not something to be taken lightly. You acknowledge that there's still something there so protect your marriage by making sure that there are no secrets between you. FWIW - I went from not having heard from an old HS girlfriend in 22 years to ILY's in 10 days. Once you start down that slope it's astonishing how fast and how far you can fall. Nip it in the bud.
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Old 11-21-2011, 01:15 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: married but still love my ex

It is one thing to reach out, see how you're doing and maybe ask if you're happy. Once you let him know that you are happy and he still attempts to pursue you, he is only out to hunt and conquer for his own selfishness. Keep that memory exactly what it is. A memory and make wonderful new memories and beautiful children with your husband.
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