Re: Weird Responses
"Don't do it again" and "you wouldn't have done it in the first place" are shaming statements.
She is trying to inflict shame on you. From your tone, it's working.
Inflicting shame is an abusive behavior, plain and simple. Stop allowing the abuse.
When an apology is needed it should be like a single gunshot. Loud, clear and plain. Then it's done.
Stop multi-apologizing. A single transgression only requires a single apology.
Stop discussing the apology and why she thinks it's inadequate. You apologized, it's done.
Stop apologizing so much. Think about why you are saying it. Is it because you were truly wrong or is it to placate her?
It's time to push back and stop being a doormat.