Have your friendships survived your marriage?
My DW and I pretty much do most everything together, with the exception of working out which we mostly tend to do separately (but not always). Very rarely do we get together with friends apart from each other, and, really, we do not have any close personal friends, but rather more casual friends.
Not sure if this puts more stress on the marriage or less stress on the marriage, but neither of us seems especially interested in close friendships with others. Don't get me wrong, we are not completely anti-social and she is actually quite the social butterfly and can talk to just about anyone, whether she has known them all her life or just met them.
But, how do the close personal friendships affect YOUR marriage, whether they are your own personal friendships or those of your spouse?
The last time I had a true "best friend" was leading up to my first marriage and he and I had been best friends since the 9th grade. But, he had a real problem with my first wife and even was nearly begging me not to marry her on the limo ride to go pick her up for the wedding. I have no ill will towards my first wife (although maybe I would had she left me rather than me leaving her) but I cannot say that I truly have no ill will towards my former best friend who I will still see occasionally.
What I find most amusing is that about a year after I married my first wife, he hooked up with his eventual wife and she was not only a few years older than him (four?) but also she had a child from a previous marriage and was divorced, and, really, not a beauty queen.
I am not saying there is anything wrong with being a divorced woman with a child, but for my one time best friend, who had boasted that he was going to marry a model or beauty queen, it was not what I was expecting.
Nowadays, although the two of them are still together, I know that he cheats on her once or twice a month and always has. I used to do the same thing in my first marriage but by marrying a younger and more attractive woman than my first wife who doesn't neglect me sexually for too long, I have been able to stay true in this marriage. I told my second wife about all the skeletons in my closet and this really bothered my friend because it prevented what could have otherwise been weekends away to engage in extramarital fun with other women.
To this day, this friend talks $hit about my first wife and blames her for he and I drifting apart. But, maybe because I am a nice guy or maybe because I just do not want conflict do I ever talk $hit about his wife who is a dozen years older than my second wife, 50 pounds heavier and not nearly as pretty.
As far as my wife's friendships go, I don't know...the one closest friend she had, ended up talking **** about my wife, about me, about our marriage, about the fact that we love to travel the world, about seemingly anything and everything. She even told one of my wife's close relative's that I was "gay" and I am thinking that is because my wife and I took her and a guy she was briefly dating to see a theatrical comedic show that featured drag queens.
Funny thing is that this friend, although Middle Eastern, was dating/f***ing a big black guy, and although that would have been a major controversy had that come to light, my wife nor I never said a word about that to her family.
Once it got back to my wife what this friend had said, my wife confronted her and ended the friendship only for that same friend to turn around and end up getting engaged to my wife's cousin, putting us in the awkward position recently of attending their wedding, where there was a little more drama.
Anyway, to sum it up, my wife and I tend to avoid friendships with others that would eat into our time together...this may sometimes lead to us nearly killing each other and not having a chance to miss each other, but it is what it is.
How about the rest of you? Multiple friendships with others? Enjoy the time away from your spouse? Any resentment on the part of you or your spouse over any friendships?