At a loss, need to vent.... - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 36 (permalink) Old 12-17-2016, 05:37 PM
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It is agonizing reading your description of his mental condition. Does your area allow you to non-voluntary commit him to a mental health facility for evaluation/treatment? My W required this at one time due to a misdiagnosis and incorrect medication for a mental health condition. She was much better 3 days later.

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post #32 of 36 (permalink) Old 12-19-2016, 12:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: At a loss, need to vent....

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Originally Posted by MAJDEATH View Post
It is agonizing reading your description of his mental condition. Does your area allow you to non-voluntary commit him to a mental health facility for evaluation/treatment? My W required this at one time due to a misdiagnosis and incorrect medication for a mental health condition. She was much better 3 days later.
Involuntary commission is not permitted in my area. Honestly, any time I've mentioned anything like this he accuses me of "psyching" him. He believes he is perfectly fine and normal, and it is me who just is such a negative, miserable person. He says that my life is so good, but because of my personality issues I have to FIND negative things to have a problem with, to assuage my negative nature. He believes I'm not happy unless there are problems. To me this whole argument makes me sound so psychotic. Like only someone who is actually insane would feel those things. I've had myself assessed for personality disorders because of these kinds of accusations. Three years of therapy trying to figure out what is happening in my brain. I've been cleared of all. And honestly, I feel happy a lot of the time. I enjoy it, like most sane people. Even as I'm feeling happy he perceives that I'm upset or sad or mad. I don't know how to control his perceptions of me anymore - he always says "change your body language"....but I'm not doing anything in specific, he just decides I'm mad and then I have to try to convince him I'm not. I'm just so tired of having to be guarded all the time.
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post #33 of 36 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 10:03 AM Thread Starter
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Re: At a loss, need to vent....

We had a MC session the other day and I talked about a lot of these things. Yesterday he made the effort to wake up at 6:30, help get the kids out the door, and then we went off to work. TOGETHER. Afterwards we came home together, and he helped me get the house ready and prep dinner, as his parents were coming. I was in a state of partial shock all the while. After his parents left I told him that it meant so much to me to have him on my team all day - I told him I really appreciated all of his effort and help, and that he made time to be home with us in the evening instead of at work. It made me feel like he cared about me and it mattered to him that I had so much to do. I told him it felt so great to not feel alone. We spent some time talking about us, and he told me that he was going to try harder to save us. He came to bed at 11:30 (about 30 mins after me), and we cuddled. I'm hopeful that this is a sign of willingness to change, but time will tell. I won't hold my breath after only one day. But it felt so very good.
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post #34 of 36 (permalink) Old 12-21-2016, 11:14 AM
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Re: At a loss, need to vent....

While its nice that he made the effort, it isn't going to hold up. He will be back to himself before the weekend is up. He has serious issues, on top of his passive aggressive personality. People like this don't change. At least you had a good day.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.

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post #35 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 12:49 AM
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Re: At a loss, need to vent....

@pygmalioneffect

Could you please check your threads and see if the posts that you say are missing are back?

The admins say that they fixed it. I'm not sure.
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post #36 of 36 (permalink) Old 04-18-2017, 01:54 AM Thread Starter
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@pygmalioneffect

Could you please check your threads and see if the posts that you say are missing are back?

The admins say that they fixed it. I'm not sure.
Hi Elegirl! Nope - this thread was several more pages long than it is now, beginning with my big, long, massive outline of many things occurring in my marriage over many years, as well as mine and my husbands backgrounds and some childhood stuff that I think has impacted us. Not sure where it all went. I'd sure like to be able to see it though, at least as a reference point someday. If nothing else it will probably help me in IC.

Thanks for your help!!
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