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Why does he have to make fun of the things I watch and do??!!

3K views 43 replies 25 participants last post by  Spotthedeaddog 
#1 ·
When my husband is around, I always make sure I'm watching a show that he isn't going to come out and make fun of, you know like a chick flick, or a good British PBS show, or a reality show. I always make sure to watch Comedy Central or the news or something neutral because he makes me feel like crap if I'm watching something I like that he would never watch.

On our tv you can see the list of shows we've watched On Demand. There's about 7 or 8 we watch regularly but on Saturdays when he's at work is when I watch "my" shows. One of the ones I watch is one of the "Real Housewives" reality shows. I would NEVER watch that in front of him and am often on edge when I am watching it because I never know if he'll come home early and see me watching it. I have even tried to see if there's a way to delete the fact that I watched it from the menu, but I can't find it. So last night we were going ot watch another one of our shows On Demand and he was flipping through to get to it and he saw that I had watched this Real Housewives show. It's been up there for months but this is the first time he's seen it. He made SUCH a big deal about it saying "Oh my god, do you REALLY watch that show? I can't believe you would watch a reality show. Oh my god, that's ridiculous". Then later when we turned on Netflix the first show that popped up and was ready to start was "Gilmore Girls" which I have never watched and he once again went into a tirade that I must watch that one too since it came up and went on and on about it. Why the hell can't I watch whatever I want and not be made fun of?? He sits and plays his stupid video game for hours every night, neglecting all other things around the house but I don't say a word to him how stupid his game is even though a nearly 50 year old man is addicted to playing this game!

It reminds me of the time when we were with two other people in a car and he and I were in the back seat. We had stopped for breakfast at McDonalds and got coffees. He takes sugar in his so he handed me a packet to pour in. I was holding something with my other hand and ended up dumping the sugar all over the backseat. He could NOT stop going on about how ridiculous that was "Oh my god, how could you have done that? How did that happen? What were you thinking? Wow, really." This went on for nearly 10 minutes. A small sugar packet gets dumped on the seat and he makes me feel like I'm 10 years old. Other people would have gotten a chuckle out of it and then said "We'll clean that up".
 
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#3 ·
Yeah, but why is it everything he watches, reads, does is just so awesome and important and my stuff is trivial?? I think his old b/w Japanese subtitled movies with samaurai are ridiculously boring but he tells me what a great story they tell. His sci-fi movies and books bore me to pieces when he tells me about them, but he tells me I just don't understand the genre. He will talk ad nauseum about this video game and I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than listen to it, but I sit there and smile and nod. His heavy metal music is so awesome and such intricate instrument work, but my country music is stupid and trivial. My murder mystery books are a yawnfest.

Isn't part of being married encouraging your spouse to be who they are and not make them feel like crap because of what they like??
 
#4 ·
I grew up in a house like this. We always busted eachothers b@lls. Holidays and family friends were brutal. So i am this way too. maybe not to the extent of your sugar example but still.

I also used to bust on shows my W watched until she told me she hated it. Then I stopped. But i wasnt doing it to be malicious or mean yet thats how she took it..as mean. I was trying to be playful. I always thought she needed to grow some thicker skin but she is sensitive so i stopped.

Either tell him it bothers you or grow a thicker skin - poke back - start bantering - you might like it. he might like getting it back.
 
#7 ·
I don't say anything when he makes fun of the things I like, but I become immediately withdrawn and he goes "Oh stop being so sensitive, I was just having some fun with you". That's not seen as "fun" by me, I see it as you think what I like is stupid. And there was absolutely NO reason for him to make a big deal about the sugar in front of those other two people. Then about an hour later my shoelace kept coming untied and I just let it go because we were in a crowd and he goes to me "Tie your shoelace" and I say "It's fine, I'll tie it when we are out of the crowd". He basically lightly pushed me out of the crowd (keep in mind we are still with these other people) and told me to double knot my shoelace. Do you know how small I felt when he did that. Telling me, a grown 40 year old woman, to tie my shoelace while everyone waits on me?? I didn't say anything to him for a while and then he got all upset saying "What's your problem". It doesn't help that he was basically ignoring me most of the day acting like I was just a pain to be around because I wasn't having any fun. Yeah, I wasn't having any fun because you were lording over me and making me feel like this tiny person in front of these other people!
 
#9 ·
He sounds like a total turd.
Let it roll off of you, because it is beyond absurd.

It's amazing, you have your own tastes in things!!! Wow!!!! Earth shattering!!!
You are not his female clone. Don't let him treat you like you are.

The day I would worry about my husband walking in on me watching a ceritan thing on TV, well,....yeah, that day would never come.
 
#11 ·
I'll admit that I'm kind of ashamed to say I watch those reality shows, but I just find some of them so fascinatingly absurd. He hates sports so if I'm sitting there watching a soccer game he'll say "Well THAT looks ABSOLUTELY thrilling" in his sarcastic voice...as he's off to play his ABSOLUTELY THRILLING video game!
 
#17 ·
Well your husband would drown in the stupidity of our home.
We love reality tv and sports.
We are both well educated and successful, in our 40s. Two teens home.
Who gives a rats a$$ what someone else is watching. God gave us legs, we can walk into another room if we don't like it.
Both of you just keeps your comments to yourself and enjoy what you enjoy.

:banghead:
 
#19 · (Edited)
Besides your H immaturity level it appears he does not view you as an adult(equal). You must make it clear to your H you will not be spoken to like a child. If your H does not like what you are watching make it clear he can go find something else to do. Stand your ground. Trust me in this...I was like you H at one time. What your H is doing you and I was doing to my W is belittling, immature, disrepectful and childish. Your H needs to stop looking like the supreme being the relationship and you his understudy. Your H must learn to respect you for who you are. Once that idea came to light for me I changed my tune for the better. And you know, as it turns out, chick flicks are ok in my book.

Go stand your ground.
 
#20 ·
You need to stop taking his comments personally and internalizing them.

He doesn't like your shows, he doesn't like it when you mess up, that's HIS problem don't make it yours.

Next time it's "Yeah I'm watching a stupid show what's it to YOU?" then ignore him and keep watching it.

Next time it's "Yeah I spilled the sugar, you don't like it, F%&K OFF".
 
#24 ·
You need some backup.
Make it a marathon girls night in next time.
His criticisms will not only fall flat, but his arse will be duly kicked by the giant boot of Girl Power should he so much as turn up his nose.

He will then proceed to his mancave or the bar with his dudes and criticize your choice of viewing material no longer.
 
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#28 ·
Dont bother giving advice, she only comes here to rant about her sh!tty husband who she will never, ever leave.
Now I remember. The OP has made it clear, if I recall, that she just needs a place to vent. Fine by me. Some people want to vent and nothing more. Their life, their choice.

I don't get staying with an annoying/PIA partner, but to each his own ...
 
#26 ·
I don't like people who "make fun" of others. "Gee, honey, your a$$ looks HUGE in that outfit. JUST KIDDING!" Passive-aggression at its finest. Some may disagree with my opinion, but I was on the receiving end of jokes like this years ago. I was dating a guy who was always finding ways to make me the butt of his "jokes." His jokes boiled down to insulting me behind the guise of jest. And, yeah, he was insecure. I think doing stuff like that to me made him feel like he was somehow better than, or superior, to me. I told him he could go f^ck himself. And I wasn't kidding.
 
#30 ·
Oh jeez. This is the same irresponsible man-child you've been posting about on LoveShack for years. Let me guess - they're not biting this time around.

Mr. Wonderful quits jobs before making sure to have another one lined up, has had quite a few accidents and seems to be on Disability more than the average person, thinks his lame motorcycle is his reason for living, irresponsibly turned down a job offer when he wasn't working and there was no income coming in - and by the time you were able to knock some sense into his thick skull, the job offer had been rescinded. He thought showing up there with a bunch of pizzas for the employees would change the guys' mind and he'd offer him the job again - he did not.

He's got a spoiled, self-entitled 19 or 20 year old daughter you've openly admitted you hate because she's a little witch and she refuses to work (wonder where she gets that from?) and thinks the world owes her everything because he hasn't taught her how to be a responsible young lady, and he's got the emotional maturity of a 15 year old boy with his first X-Box.

You choose to cling to this abusive loser and have to worry about ridiculous crap like him making fun of what you watch on TV or treating you like a 9 year old kid when your shoe is untied. Trust me, if I were married to someone of this low caliber about the last thing I'd be worried about was HIS opinion of me.
 
#33 ·
Then last night he had another sarcastic moment. He and I were emailing from work and I told him I'd go to the butcher after work and he said that sounded great and how a steak with baked potato sounded good for dinner since we had been eating soup for 3 nights in a row. So I go there, I go to the grocery store to grab other things. I get home at 5:30 and he gets home around 7PM (keep in mind that he doesn't want me cooking the steaks because I don't do it "right"). He goes and takes a bath, gets out at 7:45 and says "Do you still want steaks (remember this was his idea) and I say yes. Then he immediately goes "Well that's not going to work because the potatoes will take a while and we won't be eating until 10PM". Oookay, so why did you bring it up?? I say "Then soup is fine". Then he goes "Or do you want to do hot reuben sandwiches?" I say "We could do that with soup?" He goes "That's a bit much." I go "Then soup is fine". Oh my god did he go off on that. He goes "Oh my god woman, make up your mind". Then starts imitating me in a high voice "What do yo want to eat? I don't know what do you want to eat? I don't know, what do you want to eat? I don't care, whatever you want to eat." "Jeez it's like pulling teeth to have you make a decision!". All of a sudden he's upset with me because I wouldn't tell him what I want. He wanted steak and then says no, then I say soup and he says okay but then gives me another option and when I say okay to that he tells me it's a bit much and then gets so exasperated when I finally decide on soup. He made me feel like absolute **** and the whole time he's imitating me in that voice, I'm in the other room mouthing the words "**** you" and flipping him off, all which he can't see. I got so upset that I turned off the show I was watching and went into the bedroom and looked like I was busy doing something. He obviously recognized I was upset because i wasn't saying anything to him and he was trying to engage me by laughing uproariously to some videos on Facebook and trying to get me to come in and watch them. I did, but I didn't say anything. Then he got all kissy kissy with me and we had our soup and I promptly went to bed right after at 8:30 while he stayed up and played his stupid video game. I didn't get an "I'm sorry I made fun of you" from him, which is what I wanted. I'm sure if I told him I was upset by what he did he'd get all up in arms and tell me he was JUST kidding and why am I taking it so seriously.
 
#39 ·
I'm so sorry you think so little of yourself that you would let your husband treat you this way. You're a wonderful, valuable, special woman who deserves to be treated accordingly, but we teach people how to treat us.

I really hope you don't have kids so they don't see such a dysfunctional relationship.

I hope you wake up someday and realize that this is not how a man should treat his wife and you deserve better.

All the best.

Sent from my D2206 using Tapatalk
 
#40 ·
When my husband is around, I always make sure I'm watching a show that he isn't going to come out and make fun of, ..... because he makes me feel like crap if I'm watching something I like that he would never watch.
I'm very sorry that you two are NOT loving, respectful FRIENDS! Friends do not treat each other so badly as this! He's either jealous or very insecure but either way, he is NOT YOUR FRIEND!

because I never know if he'll come home early and see me watching it.
It is SICKENING to live in fear of your own mate (I lived like that for several years) when there should be love and respect between you!
He made SUCH a big deal about it saying "Oh my god, do you REALLY watch that show? I can't believe you would watch a reality show. Oh my god, that's ridiculous". Then later when we turned on Netflix the first show that popped up and was ready to start was "Gilmore Girls" which I have never watched and he once again went into a tirade that I must watch that one too since it came up and went on and on about it.
I lived with such a Control Freak! And finally LEFT HER!

Why the hell can't I watch whatever I want and not be made fun of??
I'd guess that it'd because you don't have enough self respect to stand up to him! He's got you cow-towed and you're letting it happen!

and he makes me feel like I'm 10 years old.
You are LETTING him treat you this way and he is going to go on mistreating you UNTIL you realize that you deserve better and begin DEMANDING to be treated better or LEAVE HIM! Bullies NEVER change so long as their victims (you) go on submitting to the abuse!
It's your life..............:surprise:
 
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