Verbal Abuse Thesis
This may bring objections and personal views from many people. This is only my opinion. I welcome what anyone else has to say on the matter. I always thought I knew what verbal abuse was. I have read books that include behaviors I had never considered. I donít agree with everything said however. The reason I donít which will be explained later would either include every couple and every parent child relationship ever. Or it assumes that it is just a male problem and that females can not be abusive. Additionally verbal abuse is a state of constant attack.
Here is a list of the things Iíd consider verbally abusive.
I) Ridicule your core beliefs or who you are.
II) Humiliate you privately or in public.
III) Keeps you from friends or family.
IV) Humiliation in private or in public.
V) Severe mood swings.
VI) Controlling of situations like money.
VII) Threatens to leave, or hurt you.
VIII) Abuse of something you care about (child, pet etc.)
IX) Manipulation with lies
X) Threatens to throw you out
XI) Controls what you wear and how you look
XII) Hits objects
XIII) Questions your every move and motive
XIV) Insulting to disability or medical conditions
XV) Using words to shame you
XVI) Yelling, swearing and screaming.
XVII) Using rage to cause fear
XVIII) Act different in public then in private.
The following things are sometimes listed as signs of verbal abuse and though it may be present in some relationships. I donít think it constitutes verbal abuse.
I) Ignores you (like we havenít all been in an argument.)
II) Withholds approval
III) Withholds intimacy including sex
IV) Walks away in an argument
V) Rolls eyes
VI) Says you are too sensitive
VII) Complains how you treat them.
VIII) Says things to make you feel good
IX) Accidentally hurt you
X) Interrupts you (Like this never happens in an argument)
XI) Uses drugs or alcohol (this is a problem on to itself.)
XII) Having rage incited in you (you are responsible to control yourself.)
Something I also disagree with.
Many men are obviously verbally cruel and abusive. Others are more subtle.
Does he deny being angry when he clearly is?
It gives the impression that it is only men that can be abusive.
This is still a work in progress but I welcome your input.