Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!
Originally Posted by Almostrecovered View Post
I didn't "choose poorly" as you put it Sanity and no the truth does not always come out eventually- people cheat and get away with it and stay married all the time
and I resent people trying to imply you simply can sniff out cheaters while dating or having a certain type of relationship or being a certain type of spouse will prevent cheating
it's simply not the case, read CWI, you see the same stories happening over and over again
now I agree my wife isn't my property and I am very aware that I can't control her. BUT I certainly can make informed decisions based on what choices she makes if she chooses to cheat again.
My point is that if you are getting to the point where you have to spy AND you are a emotionally secure individual, then YES you chose poorly. Its nothing against you. We are human and make mistakes. I personally choose poory because my exw was a jealous, controlling monster who decided it was ok to check my phone, email constantly.
Having said this, if you do come across some information that leads to infidelity then act on it. My problem is the constant violation of boundries. If I have to keep checking on my partner, its just not worth it. Move on with somebody more trustworthly. Cheaters will slip up and will get caught. Life is too too short to worry about where your partner puts their genitals all the time.
I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer.