Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea! - Page 5
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships »General Relationship Discussion » Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-08-2011, 09:32 AM   #61 (permalink)
Member
 
brat30's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 54
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

ACTUALLY i was there to see it (so its not based on what my husband said) i was there the weekend that she came in stole his stuff she even tried to have him charged with stalking dispite that he was in my town all weekend while she was loading our truck up with our stuff. so this isnt based on talking bad about her.
brat30 is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-08-2011, 09:35 AM   #62 (permalink)
Member
 
brat30's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 54
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

Hope No need for being rude, I don't know "your life." but you also don't know mine. I'm sorry if i have issues spelling and cannot be perfect like you, but the key logger can be used for bad too which is why it should be use as ive said SOOO many times ONLY for professinals and im done responding because all im getting is Bitter wives who seem to think that they have a right to break the law when it comes to their husbands! Im Finished with this subject. DONE!!!!!
brat30 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 09:42 AM   #63 (permalink)
Forum Supporter
 
EleGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 17,762
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

Quote:
Originally Posted by brat30 View Post
ACTUALLY i was there to see it (so its not based on what my husband said) i was there the weekend that she came in stole his stuff she even tried to have him charged with stalking dispite that he was in my town all weekend while she was loading our truck up with our stuff. so this isnt based on talking bad about her.
He was in the middle of a divorce or separation from a common law marriage situation...

Were you an owner on the title of the truck? If not it was not 'your' truck.

You do not know what went on in their life together. You were not there with him.
EleGirl is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 10:31 AM   #64 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 81
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

Quote:
Originally Posted by EleGirl View Post
The law applies to computers that do not belong to the person. We have 5 computers in our home. They are community property. That means they all belong to me too. It is legal for me to but keystroke monitoring software on any computer I own.
No, this is incorrect. To put it simply: ownership of the computer does not give you ownership to the data that is contained within or is processed with the computer.

Especially, if the data is protected with a password, as usually is the case with Windows user accounts, and always with email.

Just like it's your house, your bathroom, but you can't install a camera in the bathroom and videotape your friends using the bathroom. Or let's up the stakes - how about your husband installs a camera in your bathroom, without you knowing, and records it?

Think of a library. A user comes in, uses the computer to check his email. Does the library have ownership of the email?

Even in a business environment, if a employee checks their private email account from work, even if they have been forbidden to do so, the company still has no right to read the private emails. A lot of companies try to enforce that any data that is on their computers is theirs, which is a ridiculous position.

Computer ownership and data ownership are two distinct issues. They have to be, since nowadays with "The Cloud" and all that, it may not be immediately obvious where your data is stored physically.
losing_hope is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 10:32 AM   #65 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 191
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

Quote:
Originally Posted by brat30 View Post
Hope No need for being rude, I don't know "your life." but you also don't know mine. I'm sorry if i have issues spelling and cannot be perfect like you, but the key logger can be used for bad too which is why it should be use as ive said SOOO many times ONLY for professinals and im done responding because all im getting is Bitter wives who seem to think that they have a right to break the law when it comes to their husbands! Im Finished with this subject. DONE!!!!!
A ton of husband/ex-husbands posted on here in favor of keyloggers as well.

I don't even know what one is. lol. But...it was not just wives.
Darkhorse is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 10:37 AM   #66 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 4,724
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

The penalties to pay for not snooping can be thousands of times greater than the penalties for snooping. Which makes the whole “is it legal” thing totally academic.
AFEH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 10:43 AM   #67 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 81
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AFEH View Post
The penalties to pay for not snooping can be thousands of times greater than the penalties for snooping. Which makes the whole “is it legal” thing totally academic.
So you've already decided that the person is guilty of something, and it's only a matter of finding it out. My point exactly.
losing_hope is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 10:57 AM   #68 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 4,910
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

What is your opinion on cheating? Has your husband ever trolled the internet in search of women to talk to? Since you think it is not your business, I suppose it is ok. How would he feel if you trolled for a male friend to talk to. Bet he would be upset, that's how you two found each other, right.

Why is your post so anti- women? Do you think women are the only ones who spy or the only ones who should not spy.

This post and the one you posted on you marriage, makes me think this was written by a man who has been found out by his wife, chatting up a 20 yr old and nailed him good.

Your spouse is not spying when you are engaging in deception, they are fact finding. It is cheating if you are emotionally engaged with someone other than your spouse. If you want to have warm friendships with people of the opposite sex outside of your marriage, get a divorce and have at it.
Posted via Mobile Device

Last edited by Catherine602; 12-08-2011 at 11:13 AM.
Catherine602 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 10:57 AM   #69 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 4,724
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

Quote:
Originally Posted by losing_hope View Post
So you've already decided that the person is guilty of something, and it's only a matter of finding it out. My point exactly.
It’s doubtful your naivety will outlive your marriage, the odds are against it. So enjoy it while it lasts.
AFEH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 11:23 AM   #70 (permalink)
Member
 
Confused_and_bitter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: in the desert
Posts: 229
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

I have noticed OP's posts are all pretty much anti-women. In another posts she goes on about how society frowns upon older man/younger woman relationships but cheers on older woman/younger man. One thing I must point out after following this thread is that OP ironically met her now H via yahoo messenger as she posted so on her other thread, so I wonder if her ex may have been right to have suspicions about her "innocent online chats" but who am I to assume what happened in a complete strangers relationship, right?
Posted via Mobile Device
Confused_and_bitter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 11:24 AM   #71 (permalink)
Member
 
Confused_and_bitter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: in the desert
Posts: 229
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

And it's woman when referring to one woman not women!! Ok sorry had to say it.
Posted via Mobile Device
Confused_and_bitter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 11:35 AM   #72 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,631
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

As someone wrestling with a serious opportunity to cheat, I feel a lot more confident that I can get away with it knowing I have strong passwords protecting all my electronic communications.
Ten_year_hubby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 11:35 AM   #73 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 343
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AFEH View Post
It’s doubtful your naivety will outlive your marriage, the odds are against it. So enjoy it while it lasts.
I'm sorry you've had a terrible experience with marriage. Really, I am.
But the fact of the matter is most spouses don't cheat.
If you choose treat your significant others as cheaters who just haven't been caught yet, that's your prerogative. I think that's corrosive to a relationship, but that's just me.
Still, do a favor and please don't condescend to those of us who don't believe spying is part of a normal, healthy marriage.

And, frankly, all the spying in the world isn't going to stop a person determined to cheat. It may catch them sooner, but that's after the fact. Rather than focus on spying, focus on creating a marital environment that's less susceptible to infidelity.
Posted via Mobile Device

Last edited by FrankKissel; 12-08-2011 at 11:39 AM.
FrankKissel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 11:43 AM   #74 (permalink)
Member
 
Almostrecovered's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: SEPA
Posts: 8,256
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankKissel View Post
But the fact of the matter is most spouses don't cheat.
recent stats show that close to half do
__________________
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Newbies please read this
My story
Almostrecovered is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-08-2011, 11:48 AM   #75 (permalink)
Member
 
Almostrecovered's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: SEPA
Posts: 8,256
Default Re: Spying on your spouse, not such a good idea!

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrankKissel View Post
focus on creating a marital environment that's less susceptible to infidelity.

it's almost as if you wish to say that the betrayed could have done something to make their spouse not cheat on them

I'm all for a good convo on setting boundaries and discussing them
but do understand that good chunk of people in the CWI forum had what they considered to be good marriages before they were cheated on.
__________________
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Newbies please read this
My story
Almostrecovered is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Tags
cyber cheating, key logger

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Exposing years later....Good idea/Bad idea? JustMe321 Coping with Infidelity 7 05-11-2012 01:32 PM
Snooping/Spying on your Spouse light rain Going Through Divorce or Separation 16 05-07-2012 07:41 PM
Is this a good idea?? working_together Going Through Divorce or Separation 13 03-16-2012 02:44 PM
Is This Ever a Good Idea? DeenaBoBeena Coping with Infidelity 4 11-23-2011 08:55 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:04 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage