Uncertain feelings - Imminent marriage
Hello everyone, first post on this forum as reached a low point and read some of the amazing advice on this forum.
I will keep this short as itís the holiday season, but grateful for any advice in regards to falling out of love. So short summary is I have been with my fiancťe for over ten years now (proposed last year), met at University when 19, and have lived together the last four years. The crunch point is that whilst she is very much still in love with me, I really donít think I am in love with her anymore. Very much welcome advice on working this through either to making it work, or going our separate ways.
Background wise, we have similar upbringings but work in different industries, have similar humour/political views/music taste, love of travel but that is kinda about it. I have many friends/hobbies/interests, and she has very few and no hobbies at all. Relationship goal wise we both want family/a house together, and both our families really get on. Our relationship has gone through a lot (my mother passing, her grandparents dying, various moves/ different locations for work), and at University was volatile (We broke up a few times, I cheated on her once which I told her about). She is a gorgeous amazing woman, and a great friend of mine but I just donít feel the same way I did a year ago.. instead I feel just empty. I dream of being single occasionally, but then dream of marrying her. Donít think this is just cold feet as I was having these thoughts last year.. and talked to her about them. We still have a healthy sex life, but its waned in recent years primarily due to my uncertain feelings.
Both of us having discussed it at length, and I have tried to make changes in terms of romantic dates, presents, effort in the small gestures, holidays etc, but in truth I am at a loss on how to move forward. I change feelings from day to day about leaving/making it work, but always with a sense of hollowness as to my feelings towards her. She is a great friend but I just donít feel I love her anymore so want to fix it or call it.
Wedding is currently scheduled for September next year, but I am uncertain if I want to go through with it or more importantly put her through it if I am uncertain.
Frankly she deserves better either way, so I would really appreciate any and all advice.