Keeping him away is no longer an option..he has respected to stay away for the birth and to give me a few weeks to adjust after birth however he has fully expressed he wants some form of visitation then after. Has agreed to court ordered child support as well. She will be breastfed and not be given bottles just like I did with previous DS. He fully intends to be around my home even if just weekends to hold her. How on earth is this healthy for me? How do people move on in a situation like this? Seems impossibly insane.
It is insane under the circumstances. You do not have to allow him to visit with your child in your home. He most likely wants to spend time in your place so that he can continue to play games with you and mess with your head. See a lawyer. Find out what your rights are so that you (and your child) are protected from him. Let him go through the court system to get a visitation schedule in place. It can be set up so that he sees your child in a neutral location, even so that you do not have to see him.
The court will order that he pay child support. It does no matter if he agrees to it.
This guy cheated on me, put me out of my own home, didn't care my son cried and suffered his absence, had the audacity to tell me about the lifestyle he was living, the # of women he slept with(2) and now that he's all done with that....he's "sorry" "didn't ever mean to hurt me" "and is going to find the one for him one way or another" ...his words. I cut the conversation politely after this. I do not need to hear this. I almost wish I could see what on earth he's thinking how did we go from fine to "Im not happy" "I love you but not in love with you" everything going to hell after to the current feeble apologies he's throwing my way. What is he thinking?!
Heís clearly delusional; probably a narcissist. Stop talking to him. If he calls do not answer the phone. If he texts, do not reply. If he calls from a number you do not recognize, then just hang up when you hear his voice. If he tries to talk to you in person, tell him to get away from you and walk way. If he purses you, start yelling, dial 911 and report that heís following you and harassing you. If he comes to your door, shut and lock the door as soon as you see it is him. If he bangs on the door or forces his way in, call 911 and file a complaint of breaking and entry, or attempted assault, or anything. You have to let him know that you do not want to hear from him or talk to him again. You have 100% power to stop all his contact with you. If he wants to see his child, he has to go through the court system.
You can start this by sending him a text telling him to not call you, come to your home or approach you in public. If he needs to communicate about the baby, to do so via text or email only. Tell him you are serious about having no more personal contact with him. That puts him on notice to leave you alone.
I was just peachy before.....and now I feel like he's reopening an old wound. How can I begin to deal with is all over again?
You donít need to deal with it all over again. You are not one allowing him back into your life on some level. So stop it. Stop talking to him. Just stop it.