Re: Am I overreacting to this prenup?
You've had a number of people tell you:
1. The Prenup is very unfair.
2. Don't sign a thing.
3. Get your own lawyer.
So I'm not going to beat the dead horse here.
Once you've done #3, you need to work with your lawyer to re-write the prenup into something more reasonable.
I'm surprised you did not sit with your fiance to talk about what would go into the prenup. You need to go into this with eyes wide open and be very active in advocating for yourself where it is due.
My husband and I were both previously married and we worked (off and on, not consistently) for over 6 months to work on drafts of our prenup with our respective lawyers. The time taken allowed us to really think about all the things that mattered to us individually. I am very glad that we took a no-pressure, open, and communicative approach. We are both very happy with the outcome and now it's something that's filed away, for us to not worry about. Our approach was very mutual in writing it, which helped immensely. When there is disagreement as to the purpose behind the prenup, then it can create all kinds of complications.
I suggest that you converse with your fiance. Him taking control of the whole process, without negotiating with you is very presumptuous on his part and disrespectful to you.
Yes, he is older and has more assets. My husband is 16 years older, had many more assets, and came with 3 children he had to look out for. Despite all that, our prenup is by my reckoning more than fair and equitable, as I do not want him to worry that I am going to take away from the resources he feels responsible to provide for his children. Additionally, I do not want to be without some safety net after having invested so many years of my life in a relationship, working, contributing to the household, etc.
So, think about the approach you want this journey to take, then you go to your fiance and you tell him that you would like to either a.) scrap his prenup and work on a new one together or b.) take his prenup and hack away at it with your lawyer, making sure you understand EVERY implication to every statement. Edit it with lots of comments and send it back to your fiance's lawyer. My personal feeling is you should do a bit of both a.) and b.), sit down with your husband, tell him you are not OK to sign it as is, and that rather than waste time (= money) on lawyers, that you want to work on the process together, whilst receiving aid from your lawyer in the areas that are unclear to you. This should not be a rushed process under any circumstances.
ETA: If your fiance can't be reasonable about this process (he's emotionally blackmailing you), then I suggest you let him go.
"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."
~ Abraham Maslow
Last edited by Satya; 12-29-2016 at 06:44 AM.