Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 09:38 AM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

Another thought: I can't imagine raising kids without them having a pet.

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post #32 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 10:16 AM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

I have dogs & cats. I can't imagine giving mine up for anyone. Dogs are loyal and they love you unconditionally. Seldom do humans do this. Even though she doesn't care for the dog, the dog loves her because of you. You 3 are a pack and you are his leader.

Keep your dog. If she loved you, she wouldn't want you to be heart broken by giving him up. It's manipulation & if it wasn't your dog, it would be something else.
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post #33 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 10:27 AM
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I have dogs & cats. I can't imagine giving mine up for anyone. Dogs are loyal and they love you unconditionally. Seldom do humans do this. Even though she doesn't care for the dog, the dog loves her because of you. You 3 are a pack and you are his leader.

Keep your dog. If she loved you, she wouldn't want you to be heart broken by giving him up. It's manipulation & if it wasn't your dog, it would be something else.
I think this is stretching it, a lot. How on earth would you know it's manipulation and that "if it wasn't the dog it would be something else"?? Maybe she just didn't realize what living with a dog would be like.
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post #34 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 10:27 AM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

Do not put the dog outside,it would be cruel after him living inside for so long.Dogs are pack animals,they consider you and your wife as part of their family and would really suffer if suddenly separated from you.

If you want to know which of them loves you the most lock them both in the trunk of your car for a few hours and when you let them out see which one of them is glad to see you.lol.
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post #35 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 10:50 AM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

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Originally Posted by lifeistooshort View Post
I'm sure a small place could work if you really like the dog.

I was just thinking that a little more space might calm things down.
OP has already removed the dog's sleeping crate to a new room and agreed the dog couldn't be on the furniture or the second level of the house. I don't think a larger space would help. As someone else pointed out, the dog will want to be with his humans as dogs are pack animals. Getting a larger house wouldn't make a difference because the dog would be following around OP, seeking his attention and affection. That's just what dogs do.

I seriously haven't been to the bathroom alone in more years than I care to admit.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #36 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 10:53 AM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

Keeping the dog away from people is kind of mean to the dog.
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post #37 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 11:09 AM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

@Livvie, I don't know for sure it is, it just feels that way and I'm not the only one who thinks it. But back at you, how in the world do you know it's not? She brings his dog up every time they fight. That is manipulation.
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post #38 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 11:24 AM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

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This, great suggestion. I can't help but think that if it weren't the dog, it'd be something else.
This is my thought too. I wish that the OP would return and answer the question I asked him in my post.

He has not give enough info yet to know what is really going on.
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post #39 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 11:30 AM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

qwerster,

Please answer the question I asked. It's important.

How does she behave about your friends and family? Does she have a problem with any of them?

.
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post #40 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 12:03 PM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

Even if you had your wife before your dog, the dog would still be staying.

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post #41 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 12:34 PM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

Give in on this and she'll have you in the crate. I'd say "adios b!tch." And I wouldn't be talking to the dog.
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post #42 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 12:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

Wow, you guys respond quick! Sorry for the late response - I'm at work so I have to be sneaky about being on this site =)

I really appreciate all the input and will try to respond to individual posts.
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post #43 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:05 PM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

This sounds like the ole dreaded marital bait and switch. She would say anything you wanted to heart before marrying you and expect you to change everything to her liking afterward. Same thing happened to me. I would tell her that since this wasn't an issue and never was brought up before, nothing will change now. Move the dog's create back in your room, she can leave if she wants. If you cave on this you're marriage will end up like mine, and you don't want that!

"I've paid double for every transgression I've ever made and that motel and that boat are little to ask for"
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post #44 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:25 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

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In the grand scheme of things, your wife/family are more important than a dog. But it sounds to me like she pulled a bait and switch on you when it comes to your dog. Marrying someone and then pulling a bait and switch is a profound form of manipulation and dishonesty.

My take on it is that the dog is her excuse to push you around emotionally. If you get rid of the dog, she will just find another reason to mistreat you and keep you walking on egg shells.

How does she behave about your friends and family? Does she have a problem with any of them?
EleGirl: Upon impulse, I do get mad at my wife because of how the dog only became an issue after we got married, but I really do think she originally thought she would be okay with living with the dog. I knew she wasn't a dog person and was okay with that. She grew up on a farm and her family had outdoor dogs that she helped take care of, so I think the issue really is that she doesn't like them inside. Even she acknowledges that the dog living outside here is not an option due to the weather. She is pretty reasonable and does not try to push me to do anything else. I honestly think our marriage would be so much better if I gave the dog away, but I also know I will resent her for it. It is a bit of a Catch 22 because he is a good dog, but she is a good wife too, who just happened to make the mistake of not knowing what it's like to live in a house we own with a dog.

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Not necessarily, if she didn't grow up with cats and dogs etc, it is highly likely she didn't realise what she was getting herself into.

My wife has little experience of living with pets at all, until we got ourselves a cat (a lovely pure breed Turkish Angora) a few years ago. We lasted 8 months before, we had to find a new home for that cat. Just as lots of people really like having pets, there are lots of people whose skin crawls when they're near them.

Absent such exposure some people don't find out they don't like pets, until they end up living with them as adults.

I will also add that despite the fact I grew up with cats, dogs and birds and have rescued domestic animals and wildlife even in recent years and still happily interact with domestic animals. Having now lived without any pets for over 20 years (excempting the cat we owned), I don't want to have any pets in any home I live in ever again.
Personal: She never had an indoor dog before she I really don't think she knew what she was getting into. Before this dog, my previous dog was also an outdoor dog (lived in a warm climate and had a huge yard back then), and it is a big adjustment having them inside, especially if you don't love them.

I will respond to more messages later. Thanks all!
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post #45 of 143 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 03:22 PM
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Re: Wife realizes now that she does not like living with my dog

Here's the thing. You say she is a good wife.

A good partner would see -- with his or her own eyes -- what kind of an effect forcing their spouse to get rid of their beloved dog would do. I can't imagine a "good wife" being readily able to break their husband's heart. If I was in your wife's position I would suck it up because i know how much the dog means to you.

My story: After a night on the town with him, wife exchanged inappropriate texts with her former boss.

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...-she-road.html
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