I haven't read any of the replies to you, so I may have one of the less popular opiniont, but dogs are a HUGE part of my life, and my passion, so I feel the need to reply.
I rescued 2 dogs long before I met the man who would become my husband. He knew I had them, and is allergic to them. He lived, at the time, with his Mom, who also had 2 dogs (who shed a lot; mine have the kind of fur that is lost in small clumps). Both being rescues, came with their share of issues, especially the male. He's high-energy, is VERY protective of me, takes a long time to trust new people, and has a general dislike of men. He's a piece of work, but I love him dearly! H came over on our 4th date, and I had told him about the dogs ahead of time, just so he was forwarned to not move too quickly around the male dog. Within 5 minutes, he had that little furball wrapped around his finger, which is one of the reasons I fell for him in the first place.
I volunteer for a rescue society (in a background capacity; I don't foster dogs), and I started up a pet care business recently.
All this being said, my dogs were there long before H. They both came from awful backgrounds, and I made a commitment to them that I would love them and take care of them, and that they had found their "furever home". If H EVER said to me that he no longer wanted to be around the dogs, I would send him packing. They were there before him, and he knew about them on our first date, and was OK with them. We came as a package deal, just like you and your dog.
I don't plan on having kids with H, but know that if we were to, we would have to really watch our male dog around a new little one, but you can teach kids and animals to co-exist together with work and consistency. I think it's important for kids to have a pet for a variety of reasons. They can teach a child a lot, and sure animals sometimes aren't the cleanest, but neither are kids!
So, if I were you, I would be sitting down with your SO and having a good long talk about her changing her mind about your dog. She knew you guys came as a package deal, and maybe she was just trying to impress you, or appear easy-going at the beginning, but now that you're married, she doesn't have the right to just shun another life like that. Animals can't speak our language, but they CAN communicate; we just have to pay attention. Has your dog changed his personality? Become a little more clingy to you? I would think that he would be wondering what the heck is going on, and would be able to feel the different vibe.
My problem is a bit different from a lot of the other dog-related posts I have read here. I have a loving wife and a well-behaved dog, but she just doesn't like dogs. I have had the dog for 6 years now and had him when we started dating a couple years ago. We got married a year ago, but before that she seemed to like the dog. She never claimed to be a dog lover but never said she disliked them either, so I never anticipated any big issues. After getting married and living together in a house for a few months, she tells me that she now realizes she does not like living with a dog. She explains that she did not know this before as she would only stay over occasionally and have never previously lived with one.
He used to sleep in a crate in my room upstairs, but she didn't even want him upstairs at all. We compromised and I moved him to the guest room upstairs even though it broke my heart, and barred him from entering our room. I also make sure to keep the floor clean because she does not like his hair all over the place, and keep him off the furniture. He does not have any of the behavioral issues that most people in my situation complain about (no accidents/aggression/biting/chewing/barking/etc), and I take care of him 100%. He just likes to lick and occasionally beg when we eat, but I am in the process of training him to stop. She has also complained about him coming near the dining table when we eat, entering the kitchen, and just being near her in general, even though she has no allergies. The problem is, we live in a very small 700 sq ft townhouse so it is a bit hard to keep them separate, and I have explained to her that I can't keep him outside because it gets too cold here.
To her credit, my wife has been generally nice to the dog and has genuinely tried to make things work. However, anytime we fight or she is in a bad mood, she brings up "the dog", and how she doesn't like living with him. Our fights get bad because I get protective of the dog. She thinks that I should be happy that I get to keep him, and when I protest, she says that if I love the dog so much, she can move out. I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells with anything to do with the dog, and am terrified of him doing something she doesn't like. I thought things would get better over time, but her patience/tolerance seems to be decreasing to the point of fighting about him every week now. My wife loves me and I know she won't make me give up the dog right now, but that might change if/when we have a kid - she has already said she doesn't want the dog near the baby. I really want to make this work, but if things will get worse when we have a family, maybe I need to consider that being together might not be the best idea?
Sorry for the long post - I just wanted to be as detailed as possible.
My question is - has anyone else been in a similar situation too? Does anyone have any advice/tips on how to handle this?
Thanks for reading and giving your advice!