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post #91 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:03 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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Originally Posted by jld View Post
Just saw this. Something to think about.

A new study titled "Til Porn Do Us Part" suggests that adding pornography to a marriage doubles the likelihood of divorce.

Divorce rates double when people start watching porn | Science | AAAS


"The new paper uses data from the 2006–2014 General Social Survey, a regular poll that asks thousands of Americans for their opinions on everything from national spending priorities to morality. Because the same people are polled several years in a row, researchers can track how attitudes, behaviors, and lifestyles change over time. To measure pornography use, the survey asked respondents—who also reported their relationship status—whether they had watched an X-rated movie in the past year. “There’s no perfect pornography question, but this one comes closest to the kind of question you ask that carries over time,” says study author and sociologist Samuel Perry of the University of Oklahoma (OU) in Norman. Out of 5698 respondents, 1681 said they had watched an X-rated movie and 373 reported viewing one for the first time during the survey period.

Analyzing the data, Perry and his OU colleague Cyrus Schleifer found that people who started watching porn were more likely to split with their partners during the course of the survey. For men, the chance of divorce went from 5% to 10%. For women, that number jumped from 6% to 18%."
I wonder how often viewing pornography is a symptom of other problems, not necessarily the problem itself? Porn is an addictive habit, and most people who succumb to addictions tend to have something they are trying to avoid / a void they are trying to fill.


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post #92 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:06 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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Agreed. As well, I think part of the issue, if you look at @Vega statement below:



Per the bolded, says who? It makes it seem like many men (and some women) are in it just to get laid, plain and simple, so they will take whatever they can get Maybe this is true for some, but what is to say that those same people instead are looking for a strong sexual connection/compatibility with someone, not a quick romp in the sheets with the first person who offers up.
After being starved for sex and/or intimacy, many men and women do get to the point where they are willing to take what they can get and who can blame them?

Besides, if you've just left a relationship where sex was an issue, you'd naturally be wary of entering into another relationship where sex could be an issue. The quickest and most accurate way to gauge sexual compatibility is to have sex.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #93 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:06 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

Surprised to hear the jump is higher for women than men in terms of getting divorced because of porn.
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post #94 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:21 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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After being starved for sex and/or intimacy, many men and women do get to the point where they are willing to take what they can get and who can blame them?

Besides, if you've just left a relationship where sex was an issue, you'd naturally be wary of entering into another relationship where sex could be an issue. The quickest and most accurate way to gauge sexual compatibility is to have sex.
I guess I may be different, IDK. ONS or having sex soon off the bat has never really interested me (and this is coming from someone where sex is somewhat of an issue in their marriage).

Not saying I can blame someone who would do that. I understand as well why on paper that sounds "logical". However, would many men/women actually go that route though, maybe or maybe not, IDK. It sounds like Vega believes the answer is yes (at least in terms of men, to a much lesser extent for women), in part I am sure based on her experiences. I don't believe the answer is yes necessarily, in part based on my experiences. No right or wrong, especially since it is very individualistic.

Last edited by EllisRedding; 01-09-2017 at 12:41 PM.
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post #95 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:33 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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Seriously, what is the issue here?
Women are all like "why you jackin' it?"

Bunch of dudes are like "well yea you are intimately not available so..."

Women are like "Why didn't you tell me you liked to have sex?"

Dudes be like "..."
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post #96 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:39 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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Originally Posted by EllaSuaveterre View Post
What is WITH all the people who are torn to bits by porn? I don't get it. I honestly don't.

Seriously, what is the issue here?
Ella, the OP on the following thread Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn asked the question. You can read through some of the responses if you're genuinely interested in understanding the other side.

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post #97 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:40 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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Surprised to hear the jump is higher for women than men in terms of getting divorced because of porn.
Why would you think that?

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post #98 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-09-2017, 12:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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Originally Posted by Kivlor View Post
I wonder how often viewing pornography is a symptom of other problems, not necessarily the problem itself? Porn is an addictive habit, and most people who succumb to addictions tend to have something they are trying to avoid / a void they are trying to fill.
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Originally Posted by jld View Post
It can be, just like affairs can be a symptom of a troubled marriage.

And porn, just like affairs, can be trouble in and of itself.

One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trustability, and she can relax. -- David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
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post #99 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 12:50 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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The quickest and most accurate way to gauge sexual compatibility is to have sex.
I don't agree with this.

In many cases, people have reported that “In The Beginning Sex Was Great.” The compatibility that people lack isn’t so much “kink” or the kind of sex they want. More often it’s frequency. Frequency can wax and wane over time even in the best sexual relationship.

Frequency is usually higher in the beginning of a relationship, so we can't use the beginning of a relationship to gauge how the frequency is going to be 3, 5, or even 20 or 30 years down the line.
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post #100 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 08:02 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

So many threads on this topic everywhere...

For every article that proclaims how bad porn is for a relationship, it is possible to find 10 that "prove" it otherwise.

Survey finds married men who watch porn are LESS likely to cheat - Irish Mirror Online

"Married men who have affairs don’t watch as much porn as their faithful friends, a new survey reveals."

I am also beginning to think that it is a cultural difference (as someone else said earlier in the thread) in how porn gets blamed for everything, from ED to fallout of a relationship with no conclusive evidence to back any of these assertions up. (I don't even understand how ED is possible for someone who is supposed to be addicted to orgasming from porn: doesn't one need to have an erection in order to orgasm in the first place, wether from porn or otherwise? Please note I am not dismissing ED as a serious affliction, only the assertions that porn is supposed to somehow be the cause of EDs in young males).

I can't see how watching porn is remotely similar to "having an affair" or many other assertions that have been made in this and other threads. And I also don't see how this argument can be resolved. However it is generally customary for the side that makes an assertion to supply conclusive proof, not the other way around. Misinformation can spread like fire, especially in this cyber day and age.


Last edited by inmyprime; 01-10-2017 at 08:07 PM.
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post #101 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 09:33 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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. (I don't even understand how ED is possible for someone who is supposed to be addicted to orgasming from porn: doesn't one need to have an erection in order to orgasm in the first place, wether from porn or otherwise? Please note I am not dismissing ED as a serious affliction, only the assertions that porn is supposed to somehow be the cause of EDs in young males).
Porn Addiction Side Effects - Erection Problems | Everyday Health
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post #102 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 10:50 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

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I don't agree with this.

In many cases, people have reported that “In The Beginning Sex Was Great.” The compatibility that people lack isn’t so much “kink” or the kind of sex they want. More often it’s frequency. Frequency can wax and wane over time even in the best sexual relationship.

Frequency is usually higher in the beginning of a relationship, so we can't use the beginning of a relationship to gauge how the frequency is going to be 3, 5, or even 20 or 30 years down the line.
No, it can't filter for drive levels unless/until the limerence phase is over, but it can weed out the bad lovers, those who aren't into the same or similar kinks, etc.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #103 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-10-2017, 11:05 PM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

And a more recent study:

Study finds no link between viewing porn and erectile dysfunction - LA Times

In a paper published Monday in the journal Sexual Medicine, researchers found that more hours spent viewing pornographic stimuli was "unrelated to erectile functioning with a partner, and was related to stronger desire for sex with a partner."

Edit: Also the previous link is not an actual study published in a medical journal: it's a survey and then an opinion of a "head of Italian society for andrology", written up in an article.

"A survey of 28,000 users found that many Italian males started an "excessive consumption" of porn sites as early as 14 and after daily use in their early to mid-20s became inured to "even the most violent" images, said Carlo Foresta, head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine (SIAMS).

http://www.ansa.it/web/notizie/rubri...583160579.html

Last edited by inmyprime; 01-10-2017 at 11:18 PM.
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post #104 of 104 (permalink) Old 01-27-2017, 09:33 AM
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Re: "Til Porn Do Us Part"

Without looking closely at the study, I would wonder if limited questions in the survey instrument are resulting in spurious correlation. Spurious correlation is when two variables are related, but not causally. Consider if porn use and divorce are two dependent variables that are positively correlated, but simultaneously correlated to a third independent, explanatory variable.

"true" relationships could be:
1) sex problems in relationships => increased porn use
sex problems in relationships => divorce

2) sex addiction => increase in porn use
sex addiction => divorce
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