Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF? - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
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post #16 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 05:33 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

When a non-marital relationship becomes work it is time to look for a new partner. If she is this way while the two of you are just dating, what do you think she would be like as a wife?

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post #17 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 08:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

Appreciate the responses, everyone. I have some thinking to do.
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post #18 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:05 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

Just tell her your medical condition prohibits you from seeing her anymore.

Your Balls grew back.
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post #19 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:20 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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Beginning to wonder that...Part of it is the fact that I'll be seen by mutual friends/acquaintances as an ass because we're breaking up over perceived lack of sex.
Sounds like a cop out to me.
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post #20 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:51 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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Sounds like a cop out to me.
Here's why I'm hesitant: I've no doubt I'll be pasted on social media by our mutual friends if I break up with her. My family will see that stuff. That, and every time I've been the one to break up with someone, it turned out to be the wrong decision.
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post #21 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:55 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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Here's why I'm hesitant: I've no doubt I'll be pasted on social media by our mutual friends if I break up with her. My family will see that stuff. That, and every time I've been the one to break up with someone, it turned out to be the wrong decision.
I am going to give you some 15 years of advice that you need to eat, digest and then consume again. It seems obvious, but given my experience, it is as crucial of a concept that exists in the world.

It is a lot better to have ended something that you didn't feel right about and take the shame up front, then to marry it, find out you were right, wasted years and years, and take the shame then.
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post #22 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 09:58 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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I am going to give you some 15 years of advice that you need to eat, digest and then consume again. It seems obvious, but given my experience, it is as crucial of a concept that exists in the world.

It is a lot better to have ended something that you didn't feel right about and take the shame up front, then to marry it, find out you were right, wasted years and years, and take the shame then.
Thank you for responding, and you are no doubt correct. There won't be marriage here. Not sure I'll get married again. Just a long time partner.
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post #23 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 10:16 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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Here's why I'm hesitant: I've no doubt I'll be pasted on social media by our mutual friends if I break up with her. My family will see that stuff. That, and every time I've been the one to break up with someone, it turned out to be the wrong decision.
If you are so insecure about being "pasted" on social media sites that you are willing to wallow in misery I'm not sure what to say. There would be no reason for you to advertise the reasons you broke up with her, have the confidence to say "it just wasn't a good relationship". F**k what people think.
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post #24 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 10:54 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

If I were you, I wouldn't just walk, I would run!

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What info can I give you? Only one I know is Risperdol. No, she has back pain. I'm to the point where I don't expect sex anymore, which is awful. I'm starting to get that vibe.
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post #25 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 11:02 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

@Jayg14 Are you getting anything out of this relationship that is worth sticking around for? I'm guessing there isn't, because otherwise, why would you be posting about this right now? I mean, when she has one weekend where she's "off" isn't really enough to break off what is otherwise a really great relationship. And you don't see this ever moving towards marriage. It doesn't sound like you're happy with this woman. So it might be time to break up with her.

(And, FWIW, I think she was weird... she wants alone time, but expects you to just chill out until she decides she's ready to hang? I think it was completely reasonable for you to leave. She said she wanted to be alone. You have better things to do than sit around and wait for her. I spend every weekend at my partner's place--as soon as I get home from work, I pack a bag, go to his place, and I'm there until about 10 pm on Sunday night. But sometimes, he has to do work stuff on the weekend, and when that happens, I'm welcome to chill at his place--which I sometimes do, I just chill and read a book--but most of the time, I head back to my place and take care of chores, run errands, or just do whatever needs to be done. Or if he needs a nap, which he sometimes does--lack of sleep makes him cranky--I usually leave for a little bit, unless I want a nap, too. And he texts me when he's done with his work or his nap, and I'll finish up what I'm doing and come back. He doesn't expect me to sit around and wait for him. That's weird that she was like, "where did you go?" It could have been medication or something, but I don't know.)

Don't worry what other people think. If mutual friends are going to slag you off, then they aren't really your friends. And it's not their business, anyway. I agree with @Cooper, you just say that the relationship wasn't working or it wasn't good. Don't say anything about her, just that it didn't work. You can have two great people, but they just aren't compatible and the relationship doesn't work.

And that thing about you having been wrong about breaking up before? Just because you think you were wrong in breaking up with other people before doesn't mean that you're wrong in breaking up now. And if you regret those breakups NOW, it doesn't mean that you were wrong ending those relationships before. If you ended something that was good, you likely weren't ready for it, and if you weren't ready for it, you would have screwed it up later anyway if you didn't end it when you did. Does that make sense? What I'm saying is don't let your past define your present and your future. Everyone makes mistakes and wrong decisions. Don't let it define you.


~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #26 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 11:07 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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If you are so insecure about being "pasted" on social media sites that you are willing to wallow in misery I'm not sure what to say. There would be no reason for you to advertise the reasons you broke up with her, have the confidence to say "it just wasn't a good relationship". F**k what people think.
Cooper, I don't have this hesitancy. I won't be the one saying anything on social media, she will.
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post #27 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 11:08 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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@Jayg14 What I'm saying is don't let your past define your present and your future. Everyone makes mistakes and wrong decisions. Don't let it define you.
Thank you for posting. This is my biggest issue.
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post #28 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 11:19 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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Cooper, I don't have this hesitancy. I won't be the one saying anything on social media, she will.
This, right here, is a reason in and of itself to run. Seriously. How old are you guys? I cringe at the thought of a former longtime partner blasting me on social media. So immature and frankly, i wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone who would stoop to that level.
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post #29 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 11:39 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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Thank you for posting. This is my biggest issue.
It's hard sometimes, right? I fight it a lot, myself. But if we can learn from our past, and make better choices, then we are defined not by our past but what we choose to do now and in the future. You can't change the past, but you don't have to repeat it. You can make your present and your future different/better, if you try hard enough. Easier said than done, sometimes, but it's possible.

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post #30 of 67 (permalink) Old 01-11-2017, 11:42 AM
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Re: Go to Visit, she spends half the night in her room...WTF?

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Cooper, I don't have this hesitancy. I won't be the one saying anything on social media, she will.
This, right here, is a reason in and of itself to run. Seriously. How old are you guys? I cringe at the thought of a former longtime partner blasting me on social media. So immature and frankly, i wouldn't want to have anything to do with someone who would stoop to that level.
I agree. This is fvcked up.

@Jayg14 The people who really love you and know you will see right through her BS. They'll know it for lies and recognize her for the psycho drama queen that she is. The people that will believe her don't matter, and you don't need them.

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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